Nasty jealous husband

[21jlb]

Hi.
My husband constantly accuses me of cheating with work colleagues and it is driving me mad. This has been going on for years. At my workplace there is a big staff turnover, it is also mainly female, but if there is a male staff member he accuses me of cheating with them. He only says this when he is drunk, which is the majority of evenings, I don’t think that he thinks that it’s true but he is so nasty in the things that he says to me and what I am meant to be doing with them.
I have a male boss and made the mistake of telling him that was who I had to buy for as part of secret santa. I just bought a funny rude joke book, but he holds this against me and that me and my boss have a close relationship for me to know that he’d like that. That’s not the case, I was stuck for ideas and it was just a joke.
I did have him on my Facebook but my husband made me block him and keeps threatening to send him messages telling him to back off, but there’s no way that he is anyway interested.
The arguments calmed down by started up again the last two evenings. He tells me to go to bed then constantly comes in the room carrying on the argument the kicks me out the room. He threw water over me in the bed the other evening at around 2am then made me sleep on a towel over it when I said I was going to sleep on the sofa.
He twists all the arguments around like it’s my fault. He insults me and the way I look. But then he’ll just suddenly snap back and start being normal and want to have sex. I feel like I have to have sex with him otherwise other times in the past he’s taken this as a sign that I’m cheating. But then when I have sex he tells me I’m a hypocrite when I try talking to him the next day about what happened and that I shouldn’t have had sex with him.
I don’t feel like I can have my own time as he’s been out of work since last April and doesn’t show any interest in finding a new job.
We don’t like it each other, but he puts it all on me that I don’t love him etc. Neither of us have the funds to leave on our own and have no family that we can move in with.
We have 3 children who do see some of the fall out at times which I hate. I try my hardest not to get involved in his arguments when the kids are there, but he really pushes my buttons at times and he knows what he’s doing.

Exactly it is him who needs to leave. It’s not fair to upheave them from their home. But I know he won’t go, and he doesn’t have anywhere to go.
The time that I called the police they told me not to let him back in, but I did as am that pathetic that I cared that he had nowhere to go. And then he made out I was in the wrong for calling the police - no remorse. He hadn’t hurt me, but was being verbally aggressive and pushed me so I called them before it got worse.

I need to try hard and stick to my guns. I keep convincing myself that I’m going to, but then bottle out.
I’m scared how I’m going to afford how to pay bills and rent too.

Who cares if he thinks you're cheating? Why do you feel the need to make him believe you're not? Why argue with him and try and persuade him you're not? Fuck him, he's NEVER going to believe you, so stop caring what he thinks.

And stop caring what your dad will think! Sorry, but fuck him too! Tell your mum, get her to tell your dad. Let her support you. She'll be heartbroken that you are in such pain and don't feel that you can count on her love and support.

Start caring about what you think, what you and your dc need!!

And stop caring what the police will think. They won't think less of you because you let him back. They've seen this before!! They know abused women usually take many attempts before they break free. He touches or threatens you, you phone them!! They will be more than delighted to come and help you everytime until you're finally ready to finish it.

Thank you guys

Jesus, if one of my exes had been right, I've have fucked about 300 men by the time I finally managed to get rid. Even after he'd gone, he was pestering for months (with no reaction that he knew about - I just swore at why my new mobile hadn't got the ability to block at the time) about how I'd obviously got somebody else beforehand and was obsessing about a couple of men I knew.

It didn't matter what he thought or what anybody else thought if they were stupid enough to believe him. As long as I got shot of him, that was the important thing.