Husband not bothered?

[bagladycomestotown]

Does this sound ok to you? We are married for 24 years. Have great sex. But my husband sometimes just doesn't want to bother. For weeks, and the weeks drift into months. He is 59 and I am 55. OK so its not as good as it was when we were in our 30's! But as far as I am concerned, I'm very happy and he seems to be too. And there is some stress about money and work and this can lead to tension. But he just doesn't show any interest. I get the feeling he is sulking or blaming me or playing some sort of game, testing me, pushing my limits?? Am I imagining that? He gets in bed with me, cuddles, rubs my back, we fall sleep, we wake up, we chat. No interest. Does it change your opinion if I said on my last birthday he didn't bother to buy/do anything for me, he just didn't bother about the day at all. He does work away and so he does have the opportunity to get up to things with other people but he's quite shy/too tired/not like that/too busy. I don't think he'd have an affair or a one-night-stand but I know I'm not the first woman to be taken by surprise. I have always felt secure with him but I don't understand why he is so disinterested in sex with me when it's good when we get round to it. We are happy together day to day, busy etc just had 2 happy weeks together....nothing. I had a nap earlier, he got in bed with me...nothing. I have asked him about this but his answer is inconclusive. Am I missing something?

Could he be depressed?

Tired, stressed, unwell?

Maybe. In fact, probably. But we just had a nice Xmas. We have some problems but is there ever a time you don't? He went out for works Xmas party and didn't ring me when he got in his hotel, how do you know if you're making things up or if there is something you need to worry about?

Trust your gut. I've learned this.

Backintheroom But what is it trying to tell me? something? nothing?

Do try asking him again. As gently as possible. That's got to be the best way of finding out what's going on. The 'trust your gut' is as much use as a chocolate teapot if it's anything more complex than junior lego.

He probably isn't always in the mood. He's 59 for chrissakes! Not 19. He's still cuddling and being intimate, he just doesn't always want the big deal. We should all be so lucky!

He's 59 for chrissakes! Not 19

Totes I'm 55 DP is 62 we are still in twice a week mode mostly. That's not so unusual..is it?

59 seems young to me, to not want sex for months on end.

I suppose his libido may have dropped OP. Since you still want a sex life, is he prepared to do anything about this?

What's an 'inconclusive' answer...? & if you've a gut feeling re when he's away from you, I'd try to look for signs/info discreetly.

Maybe push it a bit. Say you need a resolution. So he needs to go to the gp get some tests. Go to counseling etc. Or tell you if he's in to someone else.