Date help for someone who doesn't really do dating!

[TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge]

Ok, so I've been single for 8 years due to raising my severely autistic son alone, he's now an adult and in supported living.

I'm also about to turn 37 and, don't laugh, haven't had sex for 8 years and have never been interested in casual stuff or ever inclined to look for a relationship either. I went on a date with someone I knew last year and he turned out to be a total psycho (turning up at my house when I said I didn't want him to pop over for a coffee, ringing my doorbell and when I didn't answer because I was hiding, would go round my house looking in windows then come back and ring again an hour later.. ) and had an emotional 'fling' with a friend in the summer, with someone I still adore but that was all stupid and he has an abusive girlfriend - I know, I know :(

Anyway,there's a guy who comes to my workplace several days a week, always at the end of shift or breaktime ( I'm self employed by day but work in a hospital aswell,in a totally unrelated field to my business!), stays to talk to us for a bit and then goes. We've always thought it was a bit odd but he's a funny guy although clearly a bit nervous at times and acts like a total plank when he is

Since Christmas he's had a bit of a makeover - new haircut, shaven and new clothes. This week I discovered that he's been asking workmates about me on days I'm not in, specifically on how to approach a woman like me to ask me out Bless his heart, he actually smartened himself up for me (yes, really!)and has been enjoying coming to chat to me..

And then on Wednesday night he acted like a totally nervous plank asking me out infront of my workmates! With that effort I couldn't really say no and he is sweet, funny, we have same attitudes towarda certain things and he's actually rathee good looking too (I'm very jealous of his eyelashes!)

So, he's taking me for drinks and a meal and already stated he would be paying for everything when he asked me

So, tips and advice please? I haven't got a clue what I'm doing, no idea what to wear and am rather scared of admitting to a guy that I've been single and practically a nun for so long (although, my friend from summer knew everything,he was kinda special :( )

So help a clueless idiot.

Oh, he's also a bit younger. Last guy was even younger but still, apparently I don't look (and certainly don't act) my age 😂

Just be yourself, wear something that makes you feel good and enjoy yourself.

You don't need to tell him how long it's been since you last had sex. I mean you can if you feel comfortable but you don't HAVE to.

He likes you in your normal clothes, you don't have to go over the top to attract him. Don't mention the sex thing within the first ten minutes

He's only seen me in my uniform I'm just not sure what people wear for things these days. I had a girls night out in October and was a bit surprised by all the black trousers and tops women were wearing with identikit hair (and there was me with my big mustard bell sleeves, burgundy velvet platform heels and my huge vivid copper curls ) . I've missed a lot of changes it appears 😂

Within the first ten minutes 😂😂😂

This sounds wonderful TripTrap. I would say that as he has smartened himself up for you, the least you can do is make an effort for him - but most importantly, wear something you are comfortable in. When I was in a similar post-nun situation as you back in the spring last year, I was amazed at how much more date-like I felt in a nice (fashionable) dress than in the black jeans/plunging top ensemble I started dating with. Best of luck to you!

I agree DogDay I think he deserves me making an effort for him :)

Well, as crazy as it all sounds, we've seen each other every day since Sunday night when he bussed to pick me up from work, went for drinks with workmates. and have had serious fun and laughter.

Turns out we have lots of shared acquaintances and a couple of friends AND I've now realised where I've seen him many times before over the years (and he always turned my head and got my attention!)

He's as crazy and full of life and daft me and jumped up on the seats in the bus stop to serenade me with George Ezra's Hold My Girl last night

It's so mad and film like I can't actually believe its real!

Awww this is lovely!!

Love this post, really hope it works out for you both, enjoy yourself.

Aw how lovely!! Really happy for you!xx

Aww I love this ❤️

Be you. You sound brilliant. Best of luck and I hope it goes well

Aawww keeping my fingers crossed for you. I had smiles on my face reading your post. Good to have someone that makes you forget life's hurdles sometimes . X

Good luck OP, he fell for you as you are, don’t try to change too much x

3 weeks in, we've only not seen each other at all on one day , even dragged him to emergency docs this morning and looked after him, seems like forever AND he done the Smooth Criminal dance for me (both love MJ!) totally spot on. Fuck it, think I've found my future husband

Fantastic Trip