Is my ex boyfriend abusive ? Or is it me?

[MissyamailaBright]

Hi all,

It’s been a couple of months since I have a terrible hard break up with my ex... since then I can’t stop thinking I was not ready and can’t make a relationship work.
All started with an absolutely amazing 6 months, where he was the love of my life, nice, attaractive, considerate, looking for places to take me .. he asked me to go to live with him after 6 months and also started to talk about getting married. I was so excited !!
Things started to get weird when I moved in.. he was always unwell, in bed, every 2 or 3 days.This started to get into me.
Also the way he was at home: he still was caring and loving with me but he was really tense with everything house related , I could touch his knives and he was facing me very aggressively for that ( this episode ended with me crying in a separate bedroom and he didn’t apologise) I started to feel tense and say things like, you need to relax, you are alway ill, etc. I found him once without lights and blaming himself about his life..
All was a bit like how to have the best house for me, I had to seat next to him to select the tiles , and I’m a very nervous person all I wanted is having a chit chat and glass of wine..
he got crazy when I hugged with his suit on, till the point he left the house because I was upset and blame me that he was out, he was hungry and wet just because I created this.

Anyway, we broke up, bad things were said by him, like I was an alcoholic,I was never supportive with him being ill, I was unattractive etc..

All these have left me so sad because I really loved him and he made me think that I’m not good enough for anyone...

He has also spread rumora and blackmailed me a couple of months ago.. but I still have this feeling of closing things amicably

His behaviour doesn't sound normal, and probably not a lot of fun for him either: toxic for both of you and you're better off out of it. But he sounds ill and like he has his own issues rather than anything to do with you.

But blackmail? Did you give him what he wanted?

Stop it!
He's a nasty piece of work.
How did he blackmail you?
Do you still have the proof of this?
It's completely illegal and you can report him.
He's not a good person and you deserve far better.
Please contact Womens Aid and ask to do their Freedom Programme.
There were a lot of red flags that you ignored.
You need to spot them sooner in future.
This course will help you with all of that.

You are good enough. HE however, isn't good enough.
Not for you or any other female on this planet.

Please consider speaking to the police on 101 about the slander and the blackmail!

Stop being a passenger in your own life.
Time to take charge of your own life.

No I didn’t give him anything. I had to contact the police to stop him

Really, you had a lucky escape.

So pleased to hear that OP.
Please do some work on yourself.
Some therapy maybe.
He treated you appallingly.
Even after it was over he did more damage.
To the point you had to involve police but you still say 'I still have this feeling of closing things amicably'
Not a chance.
Now block, ignore and delete and move forward with your life.

He sounds lovely, what a catch! Any women would be lucky to have him..... 😳

Please do te Freedom Programme! This man was a whole raft of red flags from day 1 - which you did not recognise.

And blackmail? And you somehow think this is your fault? Find your self esteem - please