I ended it after a few months and he’s turned into a monster

[user174963]

I dated someone on a more or less weekly basis since end of September. He was very keen to move things forward, had a high powered job and although mine is still a good job, he clearly thought I should think I was lucky to be with him particularly financially.

As the weeks went more things started to appear that made me question him and I was coming to the conclusion that I didn’t want to continue dating. It came to a head early December when he begged me to give it a chance, I stupidly did, then ended it again last week.

I don’t want him in my life. I wasn’t hugely invested and in my mind the relationship didn’t even properly develop having onky seen each other once a week. However he has gone crazy.. nasty messages saying I played him, this is ending badly, he thinks I’m crazy and have commitment issues. I’m scared he’s going to do something.

He never had before but then I’ve onky known him a few months. He lives an hour away. I don’t mean physically harm but maybe car damage etc.

Am I being crazy? Worrying for nothing?

Sorry for typos. Phone playing up.

Just block him

I have

Just block him on everything.
If you feel like your unsafe and he knows where you live maybe confide in a relative and see about staying with them for a few days.
Maybe give him some closure with a final firm text and hopefully he won’t be crazy. Go with your gut.

So how is he messaging?

Only you can know what he is possible of, at least we can't. Had he mentioned any previous break ups etc. I think the best thing is to make one very clear message that you don't want any more communication with him and that any continuation will be considered harassment. Then any further messaging IS HARASSMENT and you should bring it to the attention of the police.

I'd say you've just damaged his ego and he's being a man child and reacting like a toddler.
Block him and ignore any attempt at contact he makes, Ive noticed a lot of men take rejection terribly so have to project the blame in order to feel better about themselves

I didn’t say he was right this second?!

Listen to your instincts. If it makes you feel safer to park somewhere else for a week or two or to get public transport - do it.

Don’t respond to messages and be very bland if ever he were to confront you. He will find someone else to pester soon, but just keep yourself safe meanwhile.

Block. Ignore. Don't respond.

You can get advice from the non-emergency police number but they will tell you the same as us. Park your car elsewhere if it's always parked in the same place and change your routine if possible. Hopefully he won't harass you and will get over himself soon. Clearly he has issues!

Can you check him out for a previous history of being abusive?

You’ve already blocked him so that’s a great start. But if harassment continues you must contact the police and document everything.

He sounds a nasty piece of work, I’d say you really dodged a bullet there. Hopefully his bruised ego will heal and he’ll move onto another unfortunate soul.

He sounds like a very abusive man and you definitely dodged a bullet!
If you are worried about your safety or the safety of your property, do report him to the police. That's your right, and he sounds unpredictable.
If he damages your property & threatens you, you can apply for a non molestation order (google non molestation order.gov) and if you take the papers to the local court yourself, you can do this for free.
Does he know where you work & where you live? Have you spoken to friends about him and can you share your concerns with them?
I hope he stops this abusive behaviour.
Good luck

Text him that you have no wish to engage with him further, and any attempt on his part to contact you in any way will be be treated as harrassment. Then block. Keep the nasty messages he sent.

Good you sussed him out, your spidey senses were screaming that something was off with this man. Hopefully he's just venting and frothing because of a bruised ego, and and will stop after you send your harrassment message. As he has a 'high powered' job, I doubt he'll do anything to jeopardise it ie police involvement.

Yep, Clare's Law.

Well if youve blocked him then leave it and move on, chances
of him doing anything is very low and he hasnt messaged you again since blocking🤷‍♀️

I think checking up on him re Clare's law would be advisable.

Also a chat with police on a non emergency basis generally. If you don't need to call on them fine, but if he does escalate you've already got a history with them.