Relationship crisis

[Shelleyaca]

I have been with bm for 11 years we have 2 children together. At first he was the funniest loving person I've ever met. But the last few years have been hell. If something is not done he shouts abusive things if I forget something he shouts abusive things he loves to embarrass me in front of family and friends. he talks to me as though I'm one of the children I'm so sick of it.
I've tried talking to him to say how it makes me feel and I get yeah all about u and oh he we go with the tears.
Today I didn't get message about hot water so there wasn't any well you would of thought I purposely used all water but not the fat I actually didn't look at my phone cos I was taking tree down lugging it up stairs to loft then hoovering and dinner!

He sounds terrible! You know what you need to do.

The worst thing that a partner can do to you in a relationship is to openly shame you or make you look bad infant of others. Your partner can be mad at you about something but showing that in public in front of friends or family is just wrong.

The constant yelling about things, sounds like a build up. My husband used to do that with me until I broke down several times and then we weren't married. We would talk, he would listen, I would listen and I would try to make an effort around the house. Your partner needs too understand that he cannot treat you this way regardless of what you did or not did not do. Perhaps you have flaws but your partner should now your never going to improve or hear his feelings until he calms down.

Talk to him if he doesn't stay calm then try again when he is.

I think OP has tried all these things

Get out and get some peace in your life

I've told him many times that's it etc .. starts being nice for a few weeks then starts again. This is my house not his but still won't go.
I sit in my bedroom (spare room) not master watching tv because don't want to hear it but he loves his kids and I can't fault that. However they starting to talk to me like poo now I've told him they copying but it's still my fault

GreenTulips,

You have a point but it is always worth a try too try again, walking away is not and should not be the first option. She should not put up with being treated like crap but one more conversation to see if things can change will not do much more damage. I eventually got through to my fiancee and now we are happily married without any problems.

This is not about you and your relationship or what worked for you her husband sounds like an emotionally abusive asshole with zero insight