husband been watching porn same night we have had sex.

[Starsandthemoonx]

this may sound pathetic but I'm 19 weeks pregnant baby no 3. Recently been opening up with my partner and having sex and feeling closer with him! sorry for tmi but he keeps bringing up anal all the time and 2 days ago we had sex was nice and romantic them went to click on his browser as I had left my phone in the house today (I don't check his phone) and he has been on porn sites specifically for big asses etc this has upset me am I being too sensitive? o hate the idea of my husband wanting to watch porn after having sex as if im not good enough and feel like unless I'm having sex with him he doesn't cuddle kiss me or be affectionate in any way. Posted this in another category but think it was wrong one thanks

we had sex was nice and romantic

He had sex with you which was nice and romantic and you seemed to enjoy it. All good. Then he looked at some porn later on for a bit of dirty non romantic fun. I shouldn't worry about it since you had the nice moment first

Oh girl.
Now please know that this is MY personal opinion and you might not agree.
I know the world is ok w porn,especially for married couples but i think it has no place in a healthy, stable and loving marriage. If you 2 want to explore new things that should be done together.
Whether you are pregnant or not he should NOT be viewing porn right after you guys have sex,that's disrespectful!!
But you are pregnant and if anything your husband needs to respect that.
Speak up,make him hear you!

**As i said this is just my opinion.And we just had our 20th wedding Anniversary. Kids are 18,16 and 14.

Nice idea but then he'll just do it behind your back, lie about it, then you end up with the thread we had yesterday where someone booted their DH out for solely looking at a naughty section on Reddit. Is your relationship not worth more then that?

it's not the issue with watching porn I have I agree that doing it the same night after we have had sex is just disrespectful I understand that most men probably do watch porn however I just found the whole "ass obsession" slightly strange

It has no reflection in how fulfilled he is with you.

I don't watch porn, but I often masturbate the same day or night as sex with DP. Usually having sex increases my sexual appetite so if anything I am more likely to want to do that.

Is there something about the actual content of the porn- e.g. he is searches big asses and you are very slim, etc?

well yeah the porn he was watching I only clicked the start of the video then turned it off but the search was big asses and at the very beginning it was rough and the man was finishing in her bum.. my husband always says my bum is bbig but it really isn't and I know that so he obv has a thing about big bums which I suppose does make me feel insecure but it's the mixture of doing that and not being affectionate to me unless we are having sex am just not feeling appreciated at all! @Dirtybadger

I would find that unsettling and unacceptable, sorry. I don't have an issue with porn but he's happy for you to be pregnant and going through all the body changes whilst he knocks one out viewing other women.

How would he feel if you started looking at porn of sexy men?

@YellowStickRoad thats the way I feel. Its a mixture of everything I don't get any special treatment bring pregnant like back massages or footrubs doesn't even rub my belly or discuss anything about me being pregnant although this us our third child the love is getting less and less surely my expectations aren't too high I mean there is women out there who's man will be affectionate and make them feel looked after and loved.. not mine

@Starsandthemoonx I feel for you. Don't be pressured into doing anything you don't want to. Maybe try chatting to him about his fantasies and explain how you're going through a lot by being pregnant and you need his support. Sometimes you have to spell it out. Try not to take his behaviour personally

There is something particularly horrible about wanting anal sex with a pregnant woman. Ugh.

Brings up anal all the time - tell him to stick a dildo up his ass and see if he likes it. I've tried anal and at best it's meh, feels like nothing and at worst painful,bloke a bad, burning case of diarrhea.

Its all over porn now to an extreme degree, but as far as I'm concerned bits all about/for the man and nothing for the woman (of course porn actresses fake that it's great but that's their job, god love them).

Seems like some men don't feel they're getting it all the ways they should be unless they're sticking it up someone's ass. Well,nno pun intended, but fuck them; they're not hassling me for something bi get nothing out of. There's no clit or g spot up there, it's about hoke, not an in hole(!)

So, not to put too find a point on it, I'd tell him to shut up about it and stop trying to push some porn originating fantasy onto a real woman, how much porn is about the women's (true,) arousal and enjoyment; sadly very very little. It would be annoying & selfish even if you weren't pregnant; but pregnant it seems even more inappropriate/shitty (again no pun intended).

That rant aside, and on your main point - I don't know why someone would go looking at porn not long after sex other than that they're still horny (and perhaps that the relatively conventional sex didn't fully hit it for them). If they're still horny and don't want to 'bother' you further, I suppose that's understandable. The content is unfortunately not unusual in porn, but as I said, i'd make it clear that it can stay in porn. If he leaves for not getting anal, he wasn't worth having.

As for asses .. we all find different physical things attractive/sexy, sometimes things are partner doesn't have; it's not a prerequisite or important, it's just fantasy/sexual. Bi know I don't have every physical trait my partner finds attractive, and I know he most certainly doesn't have every physical trait I find sexy/attractive. A partner encompasses more than that. Does it really matter all that much if they fantasise about that physical thing, it's in the realm of fantasy/masturbation.

Wow sorry I didn't realise that got so long.

It's an out hole, not an in hole - that was supposed to say.

Was he more loving/affectionate (outside of sex) in your first 2 pregnancies?

I suppose all you can do is raise that you don't feel he is now and see what he says/if he changes.

@merville well you have cheered me up with all the puns. I know I really don't care about the porn but would of rathered I didn't see it. Don't get me wrong it's not like he's always pushy for it just past few weeks has been more curious am not particularly interested in it all all. I would just like more attention in general and cuddled without wanting sex and felt appreciated I am already a mum to two and at university my partner works so I get we both like to do our own things some times but I honestly just want to feel loved. I have spoke about all of this and if I ask for a back rub etc he will do it with a bit of moaning but would rather a kind gesture without asking. He says he will be more attentive but really never has been for the past 3 years been together 8. Bleughhhhh had to get that off my chest lol

he was attentive with my first but I had a very traumatic pregnancy sudden eclampsia took seizures was unconscious our son was born at 31 weeks. he was very loving back then but then with my daughter he wasn't very affectionate we have spoke about it before being pregnant and agreed that if we were to have any more he would be different but it's actually worse he doesn't come near me or connect with the baby in any way.

Next time he asks for anal walk in wearing a strap on......

If you've already spoken about it and he hasn't changed, and has actually gotten worse ... I don't know what to advise. It doesn't sound like he'll change and maybe down the line you'll end up looking at the bleak options of putting up with it or separating from him. I hope someone can contribute something more constructive than me ..