Communication in a open relationship?

[frennyC]

Hello all! I'm quite new at being non-monogamous. I was wondering how you communicate with your partner regarding having sexual relations with other people. I find the technique that the girl has in this video is helpful.

If anyone has experience with this, please let me know what you think. I would appreciate any feedback I can get.

Oh god not this shit again

What? I don't follow. Did I say something to offend you?

You posted this same video the other day

IIII, did not. I saw that other thread and decided to use the subject matter (the video) to make my own post. Specifically, about communication in open relationships. If that's against he rules, I'm sorry.

This is how it works in my life...

"DBluebells. I want to sleep with other people but still stay with you for the washing and cleaning and raising children etc"

Me - "fuck off and don't let the door hit you on the way out"

I've seen this video being posted before too @SparklyMagpie, usually with similar drivel written as above

@frennyC

MN is really not the best place for advice on this. Look for forums for polyamory, etc.

As far as non-monogamy rules and boundaries - they are individual. It’s whatver your primary relationship needs.

People I know that have open relationship do not use the approach that video suggests. Admittedly I only saw a few min of it - but it’d be tedious to constantly renegotiate and discuss rules and boudaries, and making them specific and different to each interaction.
Mostly people agree on boudaries once and try to stick to them.

One couple - allow the other relationships, but do not discuss them, do not bring others to their home, and limit those interactions to week days - weekend is a ciuoel time.

Another couple - let each other know when they meet their others, also non-weekends, and no overnights with others. They do talk about their time with others as they find it a turn on.

@BluebellsareBlue same reaction I'd be giving also.

Getting abit fed up of seeing these posts

Sparkly & Bluebell

Why post then? You disagree with that approach to a relationship. It’s your right.
OP wasn’t opening a discussion on the lifestyle, she was asking a practical question.
Why the need to moralise?

I disagree with the repeated use of that video being posted

I get the feeling that most of what people here like to do is whinge at others over the style of their posts. If you aren't interested in the content, ignore it. Nobody forced you to read my thread. I'm sure you have better things to do. Or at least I hope you do. Hence forth I'll be ignoring all none constructive posts to my thread.

@Josuk Perhaps you're right about this forum not being the right place. It seems that most of the folks here are very uptight and conservative.

Yes it would be tedious to have to renegotiate all the time with my partner. I think setting the boundaries once at the start would probably be the best way of going about this. Do you think such rules could adapt over time to suit the couples wants and needs?

@frennyC

Of course the rules can adapt. When you embark on a new type of relationship - you won’t really know what would and what won’t work for you two. And as you move along, adjusting rhe rules maybe be needed....
The most important thing as you proceed is to keep talking and making sure the two of you are Ok and no one is feeling insecure or unhappy.

Also - I don’t know what type of open relationship you are thinking about. But a good way to figure out where your joint boundaries are is to try a bit of swinging. Go to a swinging party and see how it feels to flirt with others and see your partner do that.
And other things can follow from there.