DH has forgotten about my birthday again

[JUstme123456778]

Not sure whether I’m overacting but this is the third year in a row when my husband forgets about my bday.
Since my DS was born he just literally doesn’t think anymore. He was never the type to surprise me once in a while but now it’s getting ridiculous.
This morning he woke up and nothing....until I said “I knew you were going to forget about my bday” when he said I’m so sorry I promised myself I won’t do it again.
He did buy me a little gift which means he has thought about it. But what upsets me the most is that I’m no longer important . I don’t want him to buy me gifts I want him to say happy bday in the morning and not to forget.

I’m so upset because I’ve always tried to make his bday special.
😔

Happy birthday

Have you got your own plans for the day? If your dh isnt going to plan or do anything its an excellent way to take the initiative.

If you could do anything you wanted today, what would you want to do (not need, not should but just want)

So what do you want to do about it? Is it a deal breaker?

He has a phone I presume. Put a calender note a week before your birthday and the day before. Job done.

If he's a loving and supportive man the rest of the time then i think it's a bit passive aggressive to know he'll forget and then do nothing to remind him. Yes, it would be lovely for him to spring a wonderful surprise or even breakfast in bed. But you know him, you know it's not going to happen without prompting.

My dh just doesn't get the issue with birthdays. He'll remember something if it was once a week, but once a year just seems to blur in his mind. He gets reminded before. A lot. Lol. Because I like birthdays. I do lovely stuff for him, no prompting needed. But I don't think I'm unimportant to him cos he's a bit shite at birthdays.

That said he treats me extremely well the rest of the time. Which is really what counts.

Mine has forgotten 2 years out of the last 3. It's become a standing joke. However he is always mortified. He however never fails to remember to check the oil in my car, empty my bins (my house) when he visits to save me lifting, fix whatever breaks in my house (currently a leaky shower) without being asked ad is generally hugely thoughtful every day. Therefore I really don't care about the birthdays bit as he just places little importance on them. How is he the rest of the year? That's more important. Happy birthday OP.

There's no way any partner of mine could possibly forget.
I'd be reminding them every day for a month prior to my birthday if they had a history of forgetting.
That would only happen once!
Please tell him how you feel about this.
I suspect he has no idea how it makes you feel.
If it's not sinking in after that, then please stop making an effort for his birthday.

And.....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

I find it a little difficult to understand how partners forget birthdays and anniversaries.

Surely it’s normal to say “what shall we do next week for my birthday” and have a discussion of plans:visits from parents/cards and parcels from friends/family through the post.

I have a friend whose DH sometimes forgets. She deliberately doesn’t mention it to him, hiding cards and gifts from others so he isn’t inadvertently reminded. She doesn’t put it on the family calendar.

Every year she turns it into a test if his love for her. If he fails the test she turns it into a screaming match.

He is forgetful and inconsiderate about birthdays and doesn’t really celebrate his own but she could solve the issue by writing it in the calendar or mentioning it the week before.

Yeah I don't understand how you haven't mentioned your birthday in the previous weeks/days for him to be even able to forget?

We always have a 'what shall we do for my birthday/your birthday' conversation.

Happy birthday to you. I don't understand how your husband 'forgot'. My bd is new years eve.

Thank you everyone for your kind messages.
I’m not too fussed about him buying me presents. I only want him to acknowledge my birthday and to spend time with me and DS.
I will put a reminder on his phone for next year...

We did discuss that my birthday is coming up etc and after last year I would have thought he learned his lesson.

I told him I wanted to go for meal on my bday as well. He told me this morning that he kept on reminding himself until last night and this morning he forgot.

My bday is on the calendar but he doesn’t check it.

I can’t comprehend how you can forget the bday of a loved one.

I have.

I only remembered when we passed a cake shop. Love DH dearly, just don't always connect days and dates.

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday, it's mine today too! It's also my husbands first day back at work so just a day slobbing around the house with the kids unfortunately. I'm almost 38 weeks pregnant though so am not up for much tbh. I would be hurt too if I was you, I like to make a right fuss of people on their birthday 🍰

Happy birthday @tasharichford
Hope you have a relaxing day :-) xx

I'm a bit against the grain when it comes to Birthdays and Anniversaries etc. It's just another day, DH does plenty throughout the year so it wouldn't bother me not to get a card/gift.

"I told him I wanted to go for meal on my bday as well. He told me this morning that he kept on reminding himself until last night and this morning he forgot. "

So why didnt he book somewhere a week ago when he was reminding himself?