Help me not text the ex

[TwinkleMerrick]

My partner walked out on me and our baby girl on Boxing Day. No reason given just 'it's not you, it's me'. He came to see the baby for the first time since leaving today. He stayed at mine while I went to the gym with my mum. I kept it as civil as possible, just talked about baby nothing else. But now I feel so deflated and miserable. I just want to text him and tell him I love him and how upset I am. I'm trying to be strong, I know he doesn't deserve me but I'm breaking inside. Any advice or distractions would be much appreciated xoxox

Do not beg!

Write it all down, read it back then burn it.

Day at a time is really important here. Just get through today

@mooncuplanding your right, that's a good idea. Thanks x

Oh the temptation is overwhelming sometimes. But, once you do it and are rejected again, the embarrassment is horrendous. Please stay strong. Phone someone for a chat or keep posting here to save you from kicking yourself later.

Lots of people are in your position OP, trying hard not to text/message. You're not alone. I've been there too, it's like trying to control an addiction.

Perhaps imagine him rolling his eyes when your name pops up on his 'phone. Or sneering. Or preening.

Change his name in your phone to something else

Post on here instead

It’s super hard when you have a baby, I feel programmed to bond with him. Not your fault

So many men walking out on women and small children recently on here

I have a poorly baby, she has had a poorly tummy for the past few days. Sleep deprivation doesn't help but at least I'm busy I guess. Baby finally gone down, eating fudge and watching crap telly b4 I pass out. Thanks for all your support xoxox

I'm glad you've survived that feeling of needing to contact him, for now. Whenever it comes back, and it will, reach out for support on here. There's always someone willing to help you out on here, day or night. Stay strong.

Yes post on here instead first

I know this may sound a bit weird, but when I used to want to avoid texting men, I’d think of it like this.

The reason you want to text him is because you want a reply. If you get a reply, it’s like you’re ‘connecting’ with him for a second, and that’s a good feeling. But it’s fleeting, and it isn’t real.

As soon as you text him you’re giving him ‘the power’. Whether to text you back. What to say.

If you don’t text him, you’ve still got ‘the power’

Don’t give that up for a fleeting ‘reconnect’ which just doesn’t last (because if he texts you, you’ll want to text him back to get that reconnect again)

May not make any sense to you, but helped me, so just in case it’s useful...

Like a PP says...one day at a time.

@Wildcate that makes total sense to me. I've been a bit wobbly today. Just feel sad that the relationship has come to such an abrupt end, it hurts when someone doesn't care enough about you that they leave without explanation. I know I will be ok, I just want to get to that point and not deal with feeling rejected and unloved in the process.