Co parenting woes

[Pockybot]

He walked out on us for OW
He wants to call all shots re contact
If I try to make it fit round me he says I am preventing contact
I feel bullied
What do I do

Mediation?

Emails and handover are re traumatising me

Can you afford to go to court? Are the DC old enough to organise their own contact? I not, email, tell him these are the times he can see them and just keep re-sending the same email every time he whines.

It’s a breast fed baby and effectively toddler so no
What would happen in court

The court won't like the idea of contact working around you as it's always about what's best for DC not parents.

What is he asking for and what are you offering? Contact for a breastfed baby would be limited by a court to ensure their needs are met of course.

He messages for contact at less than a day’s notice when I already have plans in place
For example baby in nursery but demanding contact with her
I feel bullied!

He has no right to bully you. You need to put some rules and boundaries in place.

Contact needs to be to a set schedule. This is what any court would order. It can't be ad hoc. Propose a schedule to him and go from there. Set out how much notice would be required to change arrangements and the circumstances under which arrangements can be changed.

It isn't about his rights to see his DC it's about his responsibiities as a parent and the DC's right to a relationship with their dad.

He can’t just demand what he wants and the fact that the baby is breast fed will be considered. You really need to go and see a solicitor about setting up regular days and times. He doesn’t just get his own way anymore and if he is a bully you need a professional to deal with him. Just don’t respond to anything and go see a solicitor.

It is your baby's right to be close to you +breasts for bf. He is a twat to expect otherwise.
See a solicitor ASAP.

What are his responsibilities as a parent

How old is the baby?

Solicitor said work it out with eachother
Can they be more prescriptive than that?

His responsibilities are the same as any parent. In this particular respect he needs to do what's best for DC and not for him. Children need routine. He needs to work towards a consistent routine for them. Any talk of 'me' rather than DC is what the courts frown upon.

It's best to make an attempt to work it out together or via mediation in the court's view. Court should be a last option.

If he's making unreasonable demands, don't be scared to tell him that. Take control by making a fair proposal to start off negotiations. There is no outcome where he won't have to work to a schedule so he needs to accept that.

Propose a schedule & way to communicate that you both agree on.

If you can’t agree, go to mediation.