Always left

[Maddi04]

Unsure where to start I posted I thread a few days ago about partner leaving/abuse/sucide etc I don’t know how I’m feeling is normal but even from a young age I struggled I was never truely happy al through out my adult life well 26 but early adult life from 17-22 I was in two abusive relationships one being very physical and sexual and other emotional and physical then in 2015 I survived a rape then a year or so later I met my ex partner was like no one iv ever met all my Past he didn’t care he loved me for me and I feel like no one will ever be like that again whose gonna love and like someone who has so much past and so on the things he done for me was like what a woman would do first for a man never experienced anything like it to me he was truely my soulmate surviving his sucide attempts and being their every second of the way we’ve been through so much then came the threats and abuse which started after the suicide I feel bad regardless of how he’s hurt me because I truely believe he never meant it I feel like iv lost my one and world We had so many good memories and times and he really did save me after a bad time in my life now I don’t know how to cope that he’s gone it’s only been 3 days and iv not really moved from the house everything I hear or see I see him I will never get that kind of love again because no one is him I’m honestly heartbroken and I don’t have much support either which is making things more difficult sorry this is over the place I just had to write it down xx

Hello sorry to hear of your heartbreak. You need some support - have you any friends or family who can help you?

You sound deeply, deeply broken. You’ve had some pretty miserable experiences in life and been treated in an appalling fashion. I’m so sorry you’ve been left like this. Have to agree with Loz, you can’t be expected to suffer in silence. When things are at there most grim it’s good to turn to friends and family for support.

I think you need to take it a day at a time. Give yourself some time to adjust. Perhaps do more of the things you enjoy, indulge a little. In time and when your ready you will meet someone new. Someone who will love you without restraint and will want you at the centre of their world. Wishing you the very best.

I do have limited family but in the past they’ve never really understood my mum for one says when she sees me this anxious and upset she can’t be around me which deeply hurts iv never had the normal mum and daughter relationship and friends all keep saying ul be ok and one day at time iv contacted ex partners dad today as I was desperate as their is important stuff I need to talk to ex partner about and stuff that needs to be discussed and said he said he will speak with him but doubt it will go down well , thank you iv reached out to many just hoping more people with get back in contact soon in the meantime I have my little dog thanks for messages s

Hello again i suspect your partner will not want to discuss it further - men are terrible when it comes to talking so try not to be too upset if he doesnt. You need to distract yourself thinking about him - plan some new walks for you and your dog, take it one day at a time and try not to focus on future too much. Exercise helped me cope with sudden end of my marriage - trips to the gym got rid of my emotional tension and i became physically fitter which helped enormously with mental health. You’ve had a terrible time. Be kind to yourself