"Dates" vs "dating" vs "seeing" vs "casual"...?!

[tryingtomoveon10]

So this is a follow-on from a post I wrote a few days ago about being dropped by a guy I'd had a few dates with that I thought were going well (he insists they were and "it's me, not you", but hey 🤷🏻‍♂️).

I'm new to the whole dating scene after 13 years with my ex (an abusive relationship I ended) and, let me tell you, I am finding it very confusing! What on earth is "dating" in 2019?

There's dating, going on dates, seeing someone, having a relationship, being exclusive but not in a relationship, casual, one-nighters, regular sex but not seeing or in a relationship or exclusive...

My question to you, MN, is - WTF do these mean?! Let's say the scenario is: first match with someone on Tinder. What happens then, from first contact to... well, whatever the next stages are?

T x

I'd just like to point out that I've never had these doubts with my dog 🤷🏼‍♀️

My husband has just left me to enter the world of online dating and he is like a kid in a candy shop. He hasn’t even moved out yet and he is constantly messaging and I’m fairly certain he has arranged his first date already. He told me he was leaving 2 weeks before Christmas and I can’t believe the speed in which he has been hooked in. I am going to watch with interest how he handles it all.

Interestingly, thanks a lot for making some points clear.

you don't want to look like you're suggesting it and coming on too strong because you don't want to look desperate because that's the mistake you made with Mike and you swore to yourself you wouldn't do it again but Mike was a bellend anyway so can you really use the situation with Mike as a fair comparison?!?!

@tryingtomoveon10 OMG are you me?!

I'm fairly new to online dating too and I've made a few mistakes but agree that clear communication is probably the most importaint thing, I've also learned that if you're anxious/unsure about being open/clear about what you want/don't want with someone, then that says a lot about where you are with them and treat accordingly.

oops = zombie thread...

You go on a date with the person you are dating. Casual is when you're just shagging them without the dates.

Seeing is what you do with your eyes.

I know it’s an old thread but as it’s relevant...
I’m relatively new to Mumsnet. I’m glad I managed to OLD without knowing these questions existed! I met my boyfriend online over a year ago. We moved on from shall we see each other again to when shall we see each next. We did have a conversation about deleting the dating app. Otherwise we gradually became more involved in each other’s lives, we met the children.
I thought it was just teenagers who were official or unofficial or had to wait to be invited to be someone’s girlfriend.

Does something like 'dating lite' exist?
As guy over 60 (just) I would like to 'go out', more specifically meet up with a woman to go and visit places, do 'stuff', maybe hold hands and a bit of kissing or cuddling, mild stuff.
I think it should be with a woman say mid 50's plus who as either got over, or at least got to grips with the menopause.
Accepting an element of frailty is not a problem, it happens to most people eventually.
Any constructive thoughts anyone?
OK a cat may be a viable alternative although they don't tend to like trips out in the car!

Just find a man who wants a serious, grown up relationship then you'll bypass all this crap