Separated - is dating allowed?

[PineappleMum]

I separated from my husband in September - I hadn't been happy for a long time and despite counselling numerous times over the last 5 years I had just fallen out of love with him.

Kids (12, 7) live with me and he has moved back to his parents house in a nearby town. He sees them a few times a week, but not for extended periods as no room at his parents house for them to stay over - he is already sleeping on their sofa.

He is not coping well with the split - he has depression and drinks too much. I think he believes we can get back together and be a happy family again.

I do not want this. It took me ages to pluck up the courage to tell him I wanted out and I do not want to get back together.

Anyway, over Christmas I bumped into an old work colleague and they have asked me if I'd like to go out for a drink...

I would like to but the split is recent... Is it appropriate to go for a drink with him? Do I need to tell ex?

I'm probably over thinking!!

As long as you live separately and have no plans to reunite then dating is absolutely fine, and none of his business!
Don't rush into another relationship though

I think it's too soon but there's no reason why you can't go for a drink with him.
And NO - you do not need to tell your Ex.
Some people can move on quickly and others need time.
As you checked out a long time ago you will be in a different place to others.
You've nothing to lose.
Enjoy life now that you are free!

I don't think you need to tell your ex about the date but I do think you need to let your ex know that it's definitely over between the two of you. Or have you already done this?

I can only imagine the hand ringing required to end a marriage you weren't happy with. It also sounds like you and your husband are mentally at different stages of the seperation. At the time of the seperation did you indicate this was a temporary measure? Has there been any discussion of divorce yet? Equally have you sought legal advice to protect your interests?

Is this drink with a former work colleague purely a friendly catch up or are you hoping for more?

I have made it very clear to my husband that a reconciliation is not in any way on the cards.

I am intending on seeking legal advice, I just wanted to get through Christmas without extra hassle.

He has talked about divorce, he is very bitter and will not speak to me unless it is about the kids.

With the drink, he said "can I take you out for a drink" so it felt like it would be a date; he's a nice bloke and we always had friendly chat when we worked together. He is divorced and single as far as I'm aware.

In a way it's better just to be speaking only about the kids. There may come a time when he starts bargaining again about getting back together, if as you say there's still something there for him.

Enjoy your date.