Am I being unreasonable

[Lynniepoo]

I've been seeing a new fella for 4 months now and on New Years Eve he was invited to a party by his mate/work colleague (I wasn't invited) As he was going to stay the night at mine I said I would drop him off at the party and pick him up when he was ready. He said he didn't really want to go but would show his face....so I dropped him off at 9pm thinking he would contact me before midnight to bring in the New Year together. Obviously I couldn't have a drink as I was going to drive and was on my own waiting for him.....still hadn't heard from him at 1am so texted him to say I needed to go to bed and for him to stay the night there cos he already had that option if he wanted it. I went to bed and ignored his text asking "wats up" and went to sleep. At 4am I was woken by him knocking on the front door asking to come in, he said he didn't know what he had done wrong so not wanting a confrontation at that time in the morning I told him to get in bed and we would talk in the morning. When we woke up he said he couldn't understand what he had done wrong and why was I being moody....am I out of order being disappointed in him or is his behaviour/attitude acceptable? Any advice would be very welcome, thanks x

It looks like a lack of communication. You sssumed he’d spend new year with you. He assumed you were ok with him being out. Al good intentions can go out of the window when you are drunk and having fun. Not worth falling out over imho but worth being clearer with each other over your expectations.

Going out 4 months & he didn't want to spend it with you ? You are in the honey moon period ! I don't think he is that into you !

You should have made plans with your friends rather than wait in for him.

I don't think he did anything wrong, you presumed he would be with you, he was at a party.

I'm usually pretty easy going but I would be fucking livid if someone ruined my nye. That's not miscommunication or bad planning, that's him going out and not giving a shit that you were stuck at home waiting for him!

I also think this sounds like a miscommunication and you both assumed different things.

You know men aren’t telepathic right? There was no pick up time. You dropped him off and just thought he would contact you. Yes it’s a bit thoughtless rolling in at 4am but you could have prevented a lot of it by communicating your expectations etc.

I understand why your upset, a few years ago on NYE my then boyfriend (now husband) did something similar to me. I think your boyfriend just went to the party, the night got away from him and he did not mean to stay as long as he did. Just ask him why he didn't come back for the bells and try to resolve things as there is worse things too break up over.

Yes u r being unreasonable if u very upset over this, as pp has said obviously a miscommunication/misunderstanding..

I think it was a miscommunication. He responded to you at 1am obviously drunk and confused about what was wrong. Arriving at 4am was down to alcohol. Be clearer next time. Had you told him you were expecting him before midnight?

Also (and this is more general), you're not together very long. I would not present myself as someone who could not come up with any better plans than his chauffeur on NYE while he went out to party. Why could he not have invited you as his date? I would have either made plans with my own friends or, if I didn't fancy that, told him to have a good night and I'd catch up with him the following day and I'd have enjoyed a lovely night in for myself and given him no details. I certainly wouldn't be sitting around waiting for a call from him.

Thanks everyone for your advice, its good to know other peoples views on things....we've agreed to communicate more :)

Yay OP. Sounds like a good outcome.