1st after separation should I go for it?

[findingmyselfagain]

Hi everyone, happy new year, hope you all had a good one :)
I'm looking for advice about dating after separating from my husband 6 months ago. Just to give a little background.... it was a mutual decision but I initiated a trial as I was so unhappy in the relationship for a long time. My ex has addiction issues and i can see now it was often an emotionally abuse relationship. We have a beautiful wee boy who is nearly 4. Thank the lord he doesn't seem to have been affected by the split. We are trying to be amicable and so far apart from a few issues it's going ok. ( although dreading this year as likely we will have to sell the house as he is living with his parents at the moment) my ex also moved on quickly after our split (;about 6 weeks in!)
So far my head hasn't really been into thinking about dating again and just trying to sort things out. However this changed last night when I met my mum and dad's lodger for the first time. He is in a very similar situation to me. He is South African and is renting from my mum and dad as he is working for my dad's friend. The plan was his partner and wee boy who is also 3 would come over to live with him and build a life together here, anyway to cut a long story short she is now with someone else and isn't moving here. He is devastated but is trying to build a new life here and go back to see his son as often as possible.
We met last night at the local pub when I went out for a couple of drinks with my dad for new year. (Granny was looking after the wee one) I hadn't met him until now as he was always working when I visited my parents. We starting chatting and bonded over our situations and also about fears about dating again etc. He was so easy to talk to and I think he is lovely very quiet guy and I'm very attracted to him He came back to my mum and dads for a drink to see in the new year then went back to his about 1am. (He is renting a 1bed separate Annex at the side of my parents house).
I briefly saw him today when he went out to get some food and I was out for a walk with my wee boy. I think there is a mutual attraction there. I don't know if I should pursue anything I am interested but it is awkward that he is living at my parents. Also I'm worried if what we are both going through is too much and I should give some more time before considering dating again. It's all such a minefield. I was married for nearly 10 years and have no idea what to do anymore lol! My head tho is starting to think it would be nice to have a laugh with someone (haven't done much of that lately) Help need advice please! X

Hmm because he works with your dads friend and lives with your parents I probably wouldnt tbh. If it doesnt work out would be very awkward.

It sounds like you've got some shared experiences and situations, and I also get the impression that he maybe doesn't have much of a social circle here yet. Would you need to think of it as dating straight away? You may find that you build a brilliant friendship, and romance may blossom but even if it doesn't you'd understand what you're each going through and could be a great support to each other. Personally, I'd probably start by extending a hand of friendship and taking it from there with no pressure or expectation.

take it easy and see how things develop. He sounds like an ideal friend ...shared misery etc and I would keep it there for now. See how it goes ..don't rush it as the other person said it's on your doorstep so if it goes horribly wrong you'll be trying again to keep a relationship amicable. That said I think you're very brave to even want to try again

Thanks all, yeah Im really wary about rushing into anything. I think for now when I see him at my parents place I will say hi and be friendly and see him as a friend. If something develops in the coming months then great. However I wouldnt want anything to be awkward it would have to be very small steps. I think for now I'll concentrate on getting a bit of confidence back, sorting the separation out and making sure our wee boy is ok. Last thing I need is more complications. thanks for your help x

oh well went to the cinema today with a friend and my wee one to see Mary Poppins and he was there in the queue for tickets with a girl who I know who keeps her horse at my mum and dads. Clearly looked like a date. Feel really down now... Im deluded that anyone would actually be interested in me, he probably felt he had to talk to me on NYE as he was my mum and dads lodger. I thought there was a mutual attraction he was obviously just being polite. Think Im best staying single.