so so sick of my exh behaviour

[peedrightoffandneedtovent]

NC for this, just really needed to vent on here, if that's okay. Am long term divorced lp but my exh left for OW when dcs were young, being an absolute arsehole in the process, trying to lie about his earnings, all the cliches basically. He now has a new gf who he's been with a few years, and I guess has told some kind of story too.
Anyway he's been a nightmare to 'co-parent' with and still is. But what pisses me off the most really is that HE acts the victim, HE is bitter and angry with me. Like constantly. For all these years.
I've got teens and am totally on my own, and it just gets me down being on the receiving end of his bitterness and venom, plus it's so unfair as I did nothing wrong. I think on some level he has acted like this for all this time it makes me start to feel 'in the wrong' (and presumably portrays this to dcs) I am nc with him as far as possible but he says things to dcs etc.

bump

I sympathise totally, my exH does the same with our children, even though I left 4 years ago.

The only upside is that the children are starting to understand what he is really like, as they are getting older.

But it’s bloody tiring work isn’t it. My children are with him now and he is still being a dick.

At least we don’t have to live with them full-time and put up with the endless victim and self-pitying play every day I suppose.

I'm so sorry you feel like this. I know it's hard and there's no easy answer. Hugs from me who has been there x

I wonder if your ex does this to you so he can tell himself he didn’t do a bad thing by leaving you (telling himself he had to leave, poor him etc).

Have you tried not talking to him but only communicating by text etc. This has made me feel a lot happier as my ex is very similar and after 6+ years apart I’ve decided not to bother any more even trying to ‘co-parent’ as he just can’t do it.

Thanks so much for the replies. MN is such a supportive community I'm really grateful.
I communicate only by text already. He tries to manipulate using the dcs, which hurts as I see them get upset. But he does it in a sneaky way so I can't really do anything about it iyswim. I'm just tired of it after so many years and it's all so unnecessary isn't it, when we could have a civilised situation. But we never will.
Yes you're right at least I'm not with him now and I agree he does it so as to justify that he left, as he's no doubt told the new gf I'm so awful etc. and I think really believes that now, or seems to.

I suppose the other thing is he does knock on the door when he comes to pick up dcs and he acts like I'm scum of the earth -doesn't say hello, won't come up the path, acts pissed off, that kind of thing. I suppose one the years I have literally put up with it hundreds of times!

I suppose the other thing is he does knock on the door when he comes to pick up dcs and he acts like I'm scum of the earth -doesn't say hello, won't come up the path, acts pissed off, that kind of thing.

We might have the same idiot exH's! Mine does the same, we communicate by text only, he is happy to be horrible to me via text, but then in person he won't even look at me or give me any eye contact. Rings the bell and then goes to stand next to his car and pretends I am not there.

I left mine because he was violent to me, in front of our children. Yet he tells the DC that mummy was selfish for leaving poor dad all by himself (even though he kept the marital home, all alone and we shared a room at my mums for years!).

The sense of injustice is very real, its difficult to rationalise their behaviours over the longer-term, as they no longer resemble the person you once knew and loved enough to marry.

All that gets me through is being glad that I don't have to deal with his crappy behaviour day in and day out any longer. But I agree, it is not easy at all.

Sympathies from me too, I left because of emotional abuse and well he was a miserable bastard. But its ALL my fault in his eyes. He is bitter, angry and not a nice person to me. I think for 2019 it wont be co parenting, bu parallel parenting and having as little to do with him as possible! I have tried for 2 years but he makes it impossible.

Sorry to others going through this too. It's hard and any response just feeds them because it's all about attention I find. But that's a lot of biting my tongue. The alternative is dcs caught in crossfire which he would relish.

All that gets me through is being glad that I don't have to deal with his crappy behaviour day in and day out any longer
I'm going to hold onto this thought. Thank you. Important to remember it and be thankful.