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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Constantly online .

13 replies

Laylajaney · 01/01/2019 11:46

My ex who I live with, has, since the dawn of home computers constantly from the time he gets up until bed sits with acomputer on his lap.Before laptops he went into an office for hours on end dispite having a 13yr old son still at home.His use is excessive by anyones standards. We had rows about it but he always went back to it . I learned it was pointless to try and change him . One day found out he'd been having an affair with someone from his long and distant past who he met again online via Facebook. She normally lived in Oz but came over for visits . They met up at these times and the rest of the time the affair was conducted online -this how I found out ,too. He is still the same dispite everything -I'm thinking of moving out when my Grandmotherly duties towards my Grandson are over . Grandson lives nearby so we both do childcare . I love doing childcare and the house accomadates us to have separate lives but his habits are so annoying -I dont feel completely indepenent either.
what would you do ?

OP posts:
pissedonatrain · 01/01/2019 12:05

Does he work? I'd probably move out too.

Laylajaney · 01/01/2019 12:36

No ,we are both retired.

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 01/01/2019 12:38

Move out

GrandmaSteglitszch · 01/01/2019 12:39

If you can't just regard him as a housemate and ignore his habits you need to move out.
How long will the Grandmotherly duties last?

Laylajaney · 01/01/2019 12:46

He wasnt when he had the affair . He used to go to a relatives cottage to so called write a book but was meeting up with the woman from his past -must have suited him down to the ground .Just the occasional personal involvment with another person ! He is very close to being Aspergers .

OP posts:
Laylajaney · 01/01/2019 12:48

They will last until he is about 13 -in a couple of years time .

OP posts:
TheNewSchmoo · 01/01/2019 12:49

He's your ex, it really isn't your concern if he chooses to sit online all day.

itsbritneybiatches · 01/01/2019 12:49

Who owns the house?

PepsiLola · 01/01/2019 12:59

Why wait to move out? You're just accepting his affairs if you carry on like normal!

Laylajaney · 01/01/2019 13:07

Thanks i will give your advice some thought .
We jointly own the house.
Its surprising how tied to another person you can still feel after 43 yrs of marriage . This is true even when separated -think I will feel freer if i move away.

OP posts:
Laylajaney · 01/01/2019 13:09

As far as I know he had one affair -with an old girlfriend .

OP posts:
itsbritneybiatches · 01/01/2019 13:12

Solicitor first thing tomorrow. Half the equity in that house is yours. Plus other things you can ask about, pensions, any other investments etc, then you can use your half to move to a smaller house that's your own.

GrandmaSteglitszch · 01/01/2019 18:28

Find out about your rights and the options you have. Just to have that knowledge will help you to feel stronger and to decide what to do next.

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