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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The aftermath.

7 replies

Newyearbollocks · 01/01/2019 03:59

So it's been 3 days since I posted here about leaving my bully partner. As most of you read I did it.
I'm free from the volatile atmosphere.
I have posted on here quite a few times under a different name. Miserable, alone and desperate for support.
It took some kicking from you guys and inner strength but I finally pulled my act together.
He's gone and house viewing. So he isn't coming back.
Of course he is singing all the right tunes and begging ect. But I'm not listening anymore.
I sincerely hope he gets the help he needs for the children.
Just a few things I keep reminding myself of.
He told me "jokingly" my boobs were too small to feed our baby, I'd have no milk supply. Besides he had a right to feed his baby. So I never got chance to breastfeed.

Screaming and swearing at me in front of the children. Calling me a slag and telling me I was sleeping around and shit in bed.

Telling me he could have his ex back when he likes.

Making me cry numerous times on my birthday.

Leaving me to wake up alone after heart surgery.

Pushing me into the shower that turned on cold while pregnant.

These are just a few I am now free from.
Of course he wasn't all bad. But they never are.

So just three days after breaking free from my 2nd and last abusive relationship, I have put my big girl pants on and come into work my NYE night shift. Putting one foot in front of the other to create a fabulous future for my babies.
I've survived rape twice!
A Horrendous abusive relationship with sexual assault, financial, physical and emotional abuse.
Two open heart surgeries, sepsis and a heart attack.
And my last ever abusive relationship. I'm wise to it now and will be working on me.

But, I'm in a fabulous job. I'm in uni getting my degree and have 4 amazing children.

So thank you ladies and happy 2019.

I'll leave this here to post back and remind me of how far I've come.
Feel free to share your heartaches too!

OP posts:
ericaswift · 01/01/2019 04:06

Wow, you sound amazing! Good for you lady. Happy new year, onwards and upwards x

LadyB49 · 01/01/2019 04:09

Well done !!

Newyearbollocks · 01/01/2019 04:10

Happy New year!
This post is probably really out too. But that's his problem now. Not mine. It's rather empowering taking control back of your life.

The point of this post mainly is for reflection and to say it doesn't matter how dark times are or what you are going through. You can survive it!

OP posts:
Newyearbollocks · 01/01/2019 04:11

Outing*

OP posts:
dellacucina · 01/01/2019 04:13

Happy new year and well doneFlowers

jeaux90 · 01/01/2019 11:10

Well done. The sense of relief is enormous isn't it. Hold onto that feeling of freedom and possibility, he will still be an arse as you go through the child access and financial arrangements, but those are minor in comparison with what you have already survived.

Good luck Thanks

Newyearbollocks · 01/01/2019 12:08

It is enormous.
There is anger, relief, loneliness and upset.
But I know these feelings are short term and this is the start of the rest of my life.

OP posts:
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