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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Feeling hurt, aibu?

14 replies

AmIreallybeingselfish · 31/12/2018 22:44

My boyfriend lives about 2 hours away, it's his birthday today and he was meant to be spending it with me but he's ill so said he didn't want to come all the way to mine.

Instead he's gone out on the piss with his friends, I'm stuck at home on my own whilst he's out having fun and I just feel so hurt that instead of celebrating his birthday and new years with me he's decided to go out with friends.

We didn't even get Christmas day together as he wanted to spend it at his mum's, I just feel so low down on his priorities, 3 Christmases and birthdays we've been together for and I've spent one birthday with him, it's not enough is it? Or am I being just being over sensitive?

OP posts:
DanielCraigsUnderpants · 31/12/2018 22:47
  1. Time for a partner who doesn't leave you wondering if you deserve more
DirtyDishes · 31/12/2018 22:48

YANBU. If he's ill why is he going on the piss?

Sorry to day this, but it sounds like he was lying about feeling ill, so he could stay home and go out with his mates. I would be fuming.

SuperSuperSuper · 31/12/2018 22:49

3 years? Time for a candid chat with him, OP. So sorry he's let you down this evening.

UrsulaPandress · 31/12/2018 22:49

Onward and upward.

GloomyMonday · 31/12/2018 22:49

Ditch him. It's not the fact that you spend significant dates apart, it's the fact that he lied about being ill. Presumably he didn't even lie convincingly? Over the past three years he's become accustomed to you just accepting this shit. Why not wipe the smile off, and start the new year without this dick dragging you down?

Oddcat · 31/12/2018 22:50

Ill my foot !

Windgate · 31/12/2018 22:51

Oh lovely where is your self respect? He's simply not that into you. 2019 is a new year and a fresh start. He's not ill, he has different priorities.

Wolfiefan · 31/12/2018 22:51

Yeah he’s not ill. Find a better one in 2019.

Strawbberrypineapple · 31/12/2018 22:57

Doesnt sound that bright- did he not realise that being ill but going out with mates in one sentence doesnt add up? Didnt you query that or were you soHmm that you didnt realise till afterwards? What a thoughtless git. Well nye isnt all what its cracked up to be. Find someone a bit more caring maybe? Try not to be upset. Hes not worth it pet.

sue51 · 31/12/2018 22:59

2019 is the year to find a decent boyfriend who makes you happy.

Original poster
AmIreallybeingselfish · 31/12/2018 23:01

He has a cold which he caught from me but nothing bad enough to stop him from coming to see me.

Glad to see I'm not just being over sensitive. The longer the night has gone on the more upset I've been about it.

I think I have some serious thinking to do. I was in a pretty crappy relationship for 14 years and it ended with my ex cheating, so my confidence isn't great either.

OP posts:
Closetbeanmuncher · 31/12/2018 23:14

Not well enough to see you but well enough to go on the piss?? Aka I will see you when I have nothing better to do....Fuck that!!

Raise your bar A LOT higher...

It's time for an upgrade Grin

HollowTalk · 01/01/2019 00:18

Get rid of him, OP. It's a new year - it's your chance to have a new start without him. He's treating you badly - don't put up with it.

Chaoticpenguin · 05/01/2019 00:47

He’s pathetic!
Too ill to see you but well enough to go out in the piss???! What a shit head!
2019 ditch him and find a decent man! Xxxx

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