Angry husband IABUR?

[Lifehappens1991]

Hi ladies,

Happy New Year’s Eve!
Although Mines could be happier; currently sitting alone after another row with H (38)
He’s angry and instead of using words to explain he started cleaning and threw dishes into the sink broke one and continued to swear and bang everything!
To be honest it was terrifying 😥
I am 27 have lb aged 4 and feel like my world is falling apart.
After seeing so much of this side to him I’m not quite sure how to truly unsee it.
Is this normal in families? To be expected? Like the ups and downs?
I grew up with just my mum and brother so minus an angry dictator!
Any advice ?
Anyone been there?

Thank you for reading it’s really appreciated xx

Thank you all so much for replies.
I started this thread to get someone else perspective on it and after having read the responses I can understand the depth of abuse that I'm used to. Sometimes emotional abuse is harder to spot when your in it and like the old saying re the frog in boiling water I feel it's all been a slow and steady process.

Your words and support will not fall on deaf ears I promise you all, I will read and re read this thread daily until I get it into my head that's it's got to end! Myself and my precious little boy deserve more from life than this.

Thank u xx

I feel 2019 will be our year! A year where I can breathe and laugh and relax and know I did what was best for me and my lb.

It is all sad really when it's said and done, he hasn't always been this way, none of the bad ones are bad all the time. He isn't a bad person, good things have happened. But the bad out weighs the good most times. It's come to a point where the pain just lingers and days i look at myself and can't believe I'm still in there. I want my child to treat his future woman or wife girlfriend with utmost respect and treasure her, but how can I ask this of him if his own mother accepted years of pain.

It's over and I just have to find the balls to leave, X

It is sad Life.

And yet it also seems promising to me. Tonight is a time when we're encouraged to turn away from the sad and the bad in the old year. It's a time when we're encouraged to look towards the hope and the happiness that lies ahead of us. Your MN name is Life ... , so, despite the sadness, it sounds to me like there's also a lot going in a good direction for you right now.

Sending hugs .

I feel 2019 will be our year! A year where I can breathe and laugh and relax and know I did what was best for me and my lb.

Just keep hanging on to that feeling and make it happen Life. You can do it. You really can. You and your little boy deserve it.

Do you have any family or friends in RL who could help and support you?

He sounds like a nightmare. Why continue to put up with this kind of behaviour?

Groovy thank you so much your kind words really mean a lot to me xx

Ellie56

I do have some friends, and family, some are aware of some of the things that have happened over the years. My best friend can not stand to hear anything about him, which is understandable. Unfortunately this evening hasn't gotten any better. I spent an hour reading stories with little one which was lovely and he's off to sleep. H has spent the evening drinking whiskey alone. We haven't spoke. I'm alone in the bedroom which I feel is best that I stay. I've been crying quietly and thinking a lot about what my next moves are to be. I CANNOT stay with this man or this life anymore! If I have to sleep at my dads pokey flat with lb then I can. Just to be safe and get the ball rolling. I'm scared and that's no way to live xx

Begrateful

I can understand why you would questions my reasons for staying, so would any normal person. My answer to that is quite simple I didn't realise the extent of the abuse I was in, this happened slowly over time. I married him and expected marriage to last forever. I took those vows seriously and thought I could fix it, I could change him, if I was better or if I didn't wear makeup, didn't wear tight clothes he would trust me. But it's never enough. Sorry for the long explanation I just wanted to let you know I'm not here because I'm daft. I'm here because I loved him and thought he loved me

Wishing all you ladies a very happy new year! You have been like angels to me this evening and I know I have support even if it's on the web. Love to you all xx

Thankyou very much for your wishes and your kind words too Life.

What a wonderful mum you are being right now. And well done for taking such good care of yourself too.

What you're going through tonight is not what New Year celebrations are how we want them to be, so really- I've so much admiration for you !!

I'm thinking about you all the time and sending many many hugs.

Onwards and upwards, OP. Just be careful leaving, telling him you are leaving; with a temper like that, you need to make sure you and your boy are safe x

I hope that the New Year will get better and better. And that you'll feel more and more happy too.

Just an update from last night, I have told H that I want to be alone, I'm not happy with him and I think our relationship is very unhealthy. He took it well initially, then he got up grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the fridge and drove off in the car!😧
I told him to stop being silly and calm down but he went! His phone is off and obviously now I am worried about him. It's really horrible to think this but I have a feeling this is a game or cry for help from him. Anyone had similar dealings when ending relationships?

Well done OP! His response is doubtless intended to make you worry. But he's not your responsibility. You and your little boy are your responsibility and you are clearly a fabulous mum and a thoughtful and loving person. You've got this. 2019 will be your year I'm sure.

It’s all designed to make you unsettled and worried about him. He is manipulating you again. His behaviour is his choice and responsibility not yours.