I really don’t understand my partner...!!

[Beautifulmess89]

Hi everyone!

I hope you’ve all had a lovely Christmas... I’m here for a rant! I really don’t understand my partner... we met on tinder, we live in the same town, we were seeing each other a while before we actually got together which we’ve been together a while now, he’s perfect! However, lately I really don’t understand him...!! We have children but none together... I have 2 children who both have the same father and he has 2 children with 2 different mothers... my ex ( the father of my children ) has been constantly on the phone making our relationship a little difficult ( Jealousy ) and his ex has been on the phone also ( again jealousy ) we’ve argued a lot lately mainly over my ex and he has concidered leaving me! :( Anwyay... apart from the ex’s he’s been hot and cold lately... one day he’s very loving towards me and the next I’m irritating him! He said it isn’t me as a person just certain things I do irritates him and he doesn’t know why. We were talking about having a baby of our own... we said we wouldn’t try just incase it doesn’t happen and to save disappointment but if it happens it would be amazing, so, we stopped using protection. Last night we were talking ( he was being really cold towards me ) and says that we aren’t ready for a baby, he certainly isn’t anyway! Which really upset me! I turned over and went to sleep. We haven’t really spoke since. I have a gut feeling he will leave, pregnant or not! :(

Re start the contraception immediately op
Seriously if it's that difficult now what will it be like with another baby in the mix??
How long have you been a family unit?
How do you support the children you both have between you now?
Do you have a joint home/tenancy and bills already or is it something you are planning on doing before a new baby?

He doesn't sound that commuted to me.

You really want to be the third woman with a child by him?

How long have you actually been together? What makes him "perfect"?

Hot and cold, isn't this a red flag OP? Hang fire on the baby idea!

Do not screw up your life by having a baby with him.

You really shouldn't have a baby with him
How long have you actually been together?

You really want to be number 3 the fact you haven’t put the length of your relationship in you’re op suggest this is a new relationship for the sake of you’re dc please leave.

Do not have a baby with a bloke who has multiple kids with different mothers. Just don't, especially one you can't fathom.... Unless you want to be baby mama number 3 while he moves onto the next.

oh god, hes gonna leave you pregnant and then fuck off like he did to the other two women. Get back on contraception ASAP. You dont need this jackass in your life

3 by 3? He’s hardly committed

How old is he? At least he’s told you now. You could be pregnant and then he’ll leave and be on to number 4. Sorry it does not sound very stable.

On the 3 by 3 comments, this man could be in his forties and the two children from loving long term relationships.

Although I'd put money on the current relationship not fitting that criteria. And him going along with the baby chats because that's what the OP wants.

We’ve been together 2+ years. He left the mother of his first child because she was sleeping with someone else while they were together and the mother of his second child left him as apparently she fell out of love with him! We’ve been unprotected for around a month now! The mother of his first child stopped him from seeing his son when we got together as a month into our relationship I bumped into him in public while he was with his son and I was in work, on my break, she found out and stopped him! His mother of his second child is happy that we are together and really isn’t bothered! My ex has been throwing abuse as he’s always been the same, even when we were together, hence why I left him. He’s a genuine guy!

By the way... we’ve recently moved in together. We are financially stable, i work and so does he. I support my children and he supports his.

I'd certainly go back on contraception while he's going hot and cold on you.

If he is so genuine then why do you have a gut feeling that he will leave?
And if you think he’s going to leave then why on earth are you having unprotected sex with him? Think of your existing children. Why bring more disruption into their lives ???

Are you both on the house lease ?

Whether you understand him or not doesn’t matter. He has clearly told you that he is not ready for a baby. Take him at his word.

I’ve only had this gut feeling the last few days... it’s something new, it’s not something that’s been happening over a period of time and he only broke this news to me late last night! Also, we are both on the lease, it’s joint.

So you live together, he doesn’t want another child at the moment. .... do you not think having another child could cause a wedge between you then he may leave?

Be careful what you wish for OP

I think it would now but I really don’t understand his change of mind all of a sudden! It was just over a month ago he wanted another! Last night he said he wasn’t ready after a month of unprotected sex, it could be already to late for him to say he’s changed his mind...