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Original poster

New partner with young kids

37 replies

toobusytothink · 31/12/2018 17:42

So just started seeing someone and we really like each other. Only issue is that he has 2 young kids (4 and 2) where as mine are 12 and 13. Has anyone else been in this position? Is it too difficult?
Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
toobusytothink · 31/12/2018 18:44

Thing is if I called it off based on a) kids and b) rebound then aren’t I being hypocritical? As I also have kids and am recently separated so I expect somebody to accept it from me but I won’t from them.

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PerverseConverse · 31/12/2018 18:46

Has he even got his own place yet? Bedroom for the kids? Sorted out basic contact and residency?

My exH was so focused on his new gf that he never did get his own place. He lived with his dad, then his mates, then his gf. He left 6 years ago and has only just got our kids their own beds. They'll never have their own room as too many kids in that household. My kids will never forgive him and they hate his gf because she and her kids are his priority.

How do your kids feel about you dating? Teenagers are tricky at the best of times.

He sounds very selfish and someone who can't cope alone hence seeking to find a replacement so soon. It's got clusterfuck written all over it.

PerverseConverse · 31/12/2018 18:48

In answer to your last post I'd be asking myself why I was so keen to be back in a relationship instead of giving myself time to reflect and process what what wrong and why and what I've learnt from those mistakes.

How recent is recent on both sides?

ChristmasFluff · 31/12/2018 18:49

You need to decide what you want. You don't want to go back to 'farm visits' etc. No need to worry if you are just shag buddies.

But is shag buddies what you (or he) want? That's the clincher. Decide, and then act.

Or just be a spineless wafting-in-the-wind of what he desires. Your choice

Original poster
toobusytothink · 31/12/2018 18:50

My kids don’t know I’m dating. We met on a dating app. I went on for a bit of a joke and some fun. Didn’t think I’d actually fall for anyone!

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Original poster
toobusytothink · 31/12/2018 18:52

Sounds like I need to remind myself that I went on it to have fun and now I’ve got someone who is amazing in bed to have some fun with...

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PerverseConverse · 31/12/2018 18:52

What? So you're both very recently separated and you've fallen for him already despite the fa t you've only just met him? Give over.

TwistedStitch · 31/12/2018 18:53

How long ago did he separate?

Original poster
toobusytothink · 31/12/2018 18:55

Perverse I really need your perspective 😄. You’re 100% correct. Maybe it’s just because he’s the first in a very long time. Of course I haven’t fallen for him. It’s just lust ... (hope that hasn’t come across as sarcastic - not meant to be)

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Original poster
toobusytothink · 31/12/2018 18:56

Both separated in the summer

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VictoriaBun · 31/12/2018 19:00

Oops you said it.... you've fallen for someone .

Original poster
toobusytothink · 31/12/2018 19:02

No definitely not fallen for him. He’s just fit and good in bed .....

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