DH and I have tried for years to make our relationship work. We’ve done the counselling etc and we just can’t make it happen in spite of us having a lot going each other as a couple. We had both resigned ourselves to living politely together and raising the kids. It was never explicitly said but I have assumed he is sticking around until they go to Uni and then he will be off (that’s still >10 years away).
I’ve always hoped we would work through it but I have recently met someone who I can imagine much more with. Who knows if that’s true but I want to explore it. It’s also dawning on me that I am getting older and feeling less attractive as the years go on. If I wait another 10 years I will be mid 50s and I am likely to age a lot worse than my DH!
So, how do people do this? I’ve proposed us share the family house (alternating weeks) so we each share the kids and they aren’t disrupted. We separately find somewhere else to live the other week (with family who are able and willing to do that or renting a house share). Is that really weird? Where we live running two households isn’t an option. So the other set ups would have huge implications for the kids. DH and I get on pretty well and there shouldn’t be too much hurt as we both agree marriage is a dead duck. We do differ on whether that means sticking it out for another ten years or not.