Please help me stop feeling so desperate for him to propose

[Bebe03]

I’m in a happy relationship of a year & a half. Moved in together incredibly quickly which luckily worked out! We both have well paid jobs so are financially secure & I know he wants children & marriage at some point. I’m not too far off thirty & feel increasingly worried he’ll never propose or we won’t have children until it’s too late.

Before I get flamed I know this is a ridiculous, irrational approach- it hasn’t been that long, I’ve got age on my side etc

But! He does have some insecurities re commitment & I just don’t want to end up waiting for ages or to find out he doesn’t want to.

We’ve spoken about it & he’s said he’s in a busy part of his job (true) and we’ll def have children in the future. He feels his mother is also pressuring him into proposing & I’d never want to do that.

Please is there any advice to stop me thinking about this all of the time? Or has anyone ever felt the same? I’m confident & secure in myself and our relationship so I don’t understand why I’m so fixated/worried about when he’s going to propose and when we’ll have children!

Ask him?

Oh I know this seems like an obvious option but if he hasn’t surely there’s a reason? I’d feel so worried about rejection or embarrassed if people found out. I also know this is incredibly stupid as I never think this when seeing it in other couples but I honestly just couldn’t do it! I just want to try & stop obsessing over it but I keep overthinking it constantly, I’m driving myself insane! Also never wanted to be one of those women who fixated on getting married etc I think it’s more my biological clock ticking!!

Time is on your side.....
So - why not give it a deadline for yourself - say when you’ve been together for 3 years... and if he hasn’t asked - ask him yourself?
You’ll be still only early 30s, and if need be - can walk away and meet someone else. And a three year relationship - in that age group - is long enough for him to know if he wants to make it official or not.

And having set a deadline - you’ll need to put it out of your head and focus on actually living and having a good relationship. Rather than worry and try to bring it up over and over.
No one likes to be pushed into proposing.

I don't think you've been together that long so he may not want to propose yet
Have you had a serious conversation about marriage? Does he know how important it is to you?

Yeah, they say that's what they want...and 5,10 years down the line, you'll still be waiting I'm thinking.

The deadline idea is a good one, I hate the thought of ever pressuring him but maybe one clear conversation is what I need. We’ve had the talk about marriage & children etc - more started my him than me in the beginning! I know it’s so silly and worrying about it isn’t going to change anything he either will or won’t but I think maybe having one clear chat & setting a goal of my early thirties is an excellent idea, thank you!