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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can I fall in love with my husband again?

1 reply

Befraggled · 30/12/2018 19:01

Hi. First time poster here, tend to read more than write.
So it might sound like an odd question, but when in a marriage, what percentage of time should things be 'good'? Or romantic, fun... Etc.

I was a single Mum to a 2yo girl when I met my now husband - 8 years ago.
We quickly fell in love, had 2 other children together and then got married.
He's a great provider, has a good job, I do still fancy him I think, and he's an AMAZING Dad... But, he's zero fun at the minute and we seem to be constantly annoying eachother, rarely fighting but not wanting to spend time together, never laughing, not being affectionate and just seem to together for the kids.

We have spoken about it and have both said we care greatly for eachother but aren't really 'in love' anymore because neither of us is particularly nice to the other.

I don't want to be with anyone else and I doubt he would either, but our day to day differences (over parenting and interests) seem to be getting bigger and we are growing apart.

I sometimes think I'd prefer to be a single parent because I feel a little bit held back by him , I feel like because we got serious so quickly and I had a baby already that we just are in this boring cycle of not knowing how to have fun together.

I don't think I want to lose him and I definitely don't want to rip our family apart but at the same time I want to be much happier than I am... And I want to make him happier.

It's hard having 3 kids and he is out at work Monday to Friday 6am-7pm so the time we spend together is at the arse end of the day and week when everyone's tired and grumpy.

So I guess the question to all you married or cohabiting folk is, is this normal ?

Thanks xx

OP posts:
mathsquestions · 30/12/2018 19:06

Simply put these are the hardest years.

Can you book a babysitter and have some dates nights. When you’re out if you feel like it tell him you want sex when you get home.

If you make the effort you will usually enjoy it.

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