Hi!
Bit of background, after 12 years together and 8 years of marriage, my ex husband left 2 years ago, I found out subsequently he'd been having an affair with a mutual friend for nearly a year. We have 2 children, 7 and 10. They live with me, he has them every other weekend Sat morning until Sun evening (so he has them 2 nights a month, his choice and that's fine by me).
Anyway, I started OLD about a year ago, nothing serious, met some nice people, had some lovely dates, which is exactly what I needed and wanted. Children have of course been oblivious to everything, they have no idea about any of it.
Anyway.... I've met someone who has made me realise I do actually want more than serial dating.
We've been seeing each other exclusively for 5 months and I think I'm falling in love with him.
However, there are practical issues. (Mainly that we live 2.5hours away from each other and he doesn't drive) if feelings were enough then I'd have no doubts about us continuing the relationship, but I feel like it's not enough, especially when there are children involved !
So my question is, when is the time in the relationship to start talking about these? I don't want to make it too soon and I don't want to make it sound like I'm giving ultimatums, but at the same time I don't want to invest more into a relationship that just won't have a future. I feel like writing it down makes me sound really cold! But I think the Christmas period especially has made me realise that I want to be with someone I can have a long term relationship and build a family with one day.
I'm not in a rush to introduce him to the children or move in together or anything like that, but I just need to know if there is going to be a future.
Does this make me sound really controlling? I'm not sure!! Dating in your 30s is a whole different ball game than when I was in my 20s!!!
Any advice appreciated!
Thank you!