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Original poster

would anyone like to try a dry January with me?

411 replies

coppercolouredtop · 30/12/2018 17:50

i really struggle with not drinking daily.

i have tried before and cheated. my dp hates how much i drink and i would like to try and see if i can do a month without and see if it breaks the habit a bit.

i can easily sink a bottle of wine plus a cocktail and still want more. i go two days without simply because i work nights two days a week.

i am getting fat. i am choosing drink over food. i am reliant on treating myself with alcohol almost daily.

i can give up anything else really easily - smoking? stopped with no help when i decided to stop.
put a box of chocolates in front of me and i can take a couple and leave the rest.
open a bottle of wine and its gone. and i want more and i dont get hangovers so there is no incentive to stop!
ive gained 6lb recently and i know its booze - dp and i used to work same hours and i moderated a bit better when he was around but now im not.
i know he hates what i drink and the annoying bint i become after the third glass.
i have lost motivation to do anything. i dont get up early. i cant be arsed to do much anymore ( i know i am depressed which doesnt help. and i think i depress the people around me)
despite being quite outgoing and bubbly i have no friends and no social life. my kids are grown up and dont see me much. i moved to a village i dont know 4 years ago and know not a soul. i also got pregnant which i was ecstatic about but then found the baby had a disability that would have been life altering for me and her, but i always felt being a mum kept me going and motivated and now my life feels completely empty and hollow. im in a job i hate. with a partner who doesnt like spending much time with me. my kids are gone, i have no friends here and alcohol fills the gaps.

ive decided to try and get to grips with that one problem and bin the booze for a month to see if it makes any difference to anything. (waist line would be good!) i never used to drink like this.. (though i did smoke about 3 cigarettes a day)

does anyone relate? anyone fancy giving this a go and supporting each other? im going to find it extremely difficult but i want to try it.

OP posts:
MyThirdEye · 04/01/2019 18:23

Hello, I'm doing Dry January. Can I join?

Have been aware for sometime that alcohol has become a crutch for me. My dad is an alcoholic/addict and I had some childhood trauma from witnessing domestic violence and other things that children shouldn't witness.

Ended up going NC with my dad a year ago due to ongoing abusive behaviour towards me, and it sounds stupid but I just started to rely on the wine more and more, to numb all the feelings.

Fast forward to last month and my scalp psoriasis has started to spread rapidly and become so painful and uncomfortable. Ive had it years triggered by lifelong stress but the booze has not helped at all.

So today is day 4 of DJ and it has been a good few years since I've gone a whole week with no booze so I'm doing well . I feel ok at the moment. There is a bottle of vodka and half a wine in the fridge and I haven't been tempted at all yet.

Those who have done DJ before, did you find the first few days the hardest or was it ups and downs?

DavetheCat2001 · 04/01/2019 18:57

I found the first weekend the toughest in the past, so that will be tonight/tomorrow.

I also found that once I got through that first weekend, the desire to drink alcohol really diminished.

I've had a really hectic day today with the kids, and normally I would be opening a bottle about now, but I'm staying strong..although I have been nibbling at chocolate a lot more than usual today, which i'm guessing is a sugar craving thing?

Good luck tonight everyone and stay strong!

LadyWithLapdog · 04/01/2019 19:21

DH having red wine & cheese. I’m not interested, oh no. I’ll have a lime cordial and finish my book.

MissyMoooo · 04/01/2019 19:24

After years of trying to stop or cut down and failing miserably I bought myself a book called The Naked Mind. I was planning on reading it over the weekend whilst still having drinks (still on holiday until Monday) however I started reading it yesterday. I'be read about 3/4 of it so far... went to get a cold beer and I actually can't drink it!! It's like the book has gotten into my head and I just don't want to drink it. So I guess I'll be stopping before I planned to :). To anybody struggling with abstaining I highly recommend this book!

Mammyofonlyone · 04/01/2019 19:40

Has anyone been really thirsty since starting DJ. I'm drinking loads more water since am no longer drinking alcohol so not sure why this is? On day 4.

DavetheCat2001 · 04/01/2019 19:43

Has anyone been really thirsty since starting DJ

YES!!! I thought it might be because I am eating quite a bit of salty food, but honestly I eat too much salt anyway. Wonder if it is a symptom of ditching the booze?

Piggywaspushed · 04/01/2019 19:46

This'll be the first day that I would normally drink alcohol after Hogmanay. I am not arsed but DH is looking at me askance.

The thing is that I don't drink liquid much anyway. I don't drink alcohol because I am thirsty, so I don't feel the need to replace the liquid with anything else. It'll be the staying up til gone 11 I don't want to do . And God knows how I'll get through The Voice without wine tomorrow!

FiveMoreMinutesPlease · 04/01/2019 19:46

Mammy, I guess we're missing the actual liquid (in my case - wine) that we'd usually consume and maybe because we're sober and senses are not dumbed we notice how thirsty we actually are. It's just a guess.
This is my first Friday without wine for years. I've passed the dreaded making dinner danger zone and hope I can get through the rest of the evening with just sparkling water. Fingers crossed and good luck everyone.

Piggywaspushed · 04/01/2019 19:48

We don't start drinking til 9pm in this house. I guarantee DH will offer me wine at nine!

Mammyofonlyone · 04/01/2019 19:51

I think you could be right Piggy ie normally I would be thirsty but don't notice it as I'm normally drinking wine..!

30RockFan · 04/01/2019 20:09

Joining Xmas Smile

I started on 2nd Jan and I'm finding it very hard to be truthful. I used to be able to take or leave alcohol, but last year was v stressful and I started to rely on alcohol to help me relax. Not huge amounts, but by the end of the year it was normal for me drink half a bottle of wine or a whole bottle of prosecco every night. One very stressful day, I actually sank half a bottle of wine before putting the kids to bed, then the second half after but pretended I'd only had half to my partner Blush so I think that was the sign I need to stop.

Really craving it though. Do the cravings lessen, does anyone know?

30RockFan · 04/01/2019 20:11

To add a positive though, I slept so well last night. First proper deep nights sleep in ages, and woke up feeling refreshed.

DavetheCat2001 · 04/01/2019 20:29

@30RockFan yes in my experience the craving will lessen..just take one day at a time.

TheNewSchmoo · 04/01/2019 20:52

Tonight is hard. Had a rubbish week, I'm cold and bored and fancy a glass of red.

I won't. But I might have to go to bed at 9pm!

LadyWithLapdog · 04/01/2019 20:55

I’m having a pint of lime cordial in plain water. It keeps me busy, what with all the sipping and going to the loo.

30RockFan · 04/01/2019 21:11

Thanks Dave.

Lordamighty · 04/01/2019 21:27

My drink tonight was San Miguel 00 with a splash of lemonade & a slice of lime & very nice it was too. Day 4 done.
I haven’t found a decent non alcoholic wine yet, not sure it exists.

GimmeBread · 04/01/2019 21:35

I could have written your OP @coppercolouredtop - I drank a bottle and a half of gin in 2 days over Xmas. Wine for Friday dinner instead of food? Yes please!

I'm on for DryJan and I'm on day 2. I didn't start until the 3rd - Scottish y'know? Smile

This weekend will be a real test of willpower, not helped by my DH rolling his eyes when I told him I was giving up the booze 🤨

chickydoo · 04/01/2019 21:40

Day 4 done.
So far so good.
Thankfully DH doing DJ too.
The kids are betting on who will crack first.
If an alcoholic drink is around 200 Calories. Giving up 10 drinks a week is 2000 Calories. That's a huge amount of Calories! Never really thought about it like that before.

Roussette · 04/01/2019 22:42

Phew got through tonight and bless him DH didn't have a drink tonight either and we didn't go to the pub as we normally do. If I can just do tomorrow night, I'll be fine until the following weekend (weekend is my worst worst time)

CeciliaMcFlange · 05/01/2019 06:23

Day 5 nearly over. Feeling really tired today, but had a bad sleep last night. I didn't go to a friends party as I couldn't trust myself not to cave and have a wine. I feel really crap about it actually. I need to find the ability to say that I'm doing DJ and not worry about the grief from friends.

What do you say to people who press drinks on you? Here in Oz it's mid-summer so peak socialising time. Loads of people on holiday so it's a bad time to give up booze.

Roussette · 05/01/2019 07:15

Cecilia I don't know what I'd do if it was sunny with a party outside, that must be really hard.
At least I can hibernate in this cold.

How long will it be before I stop waking up with the equivalent of a hangover? I have a headache this morning from drinking two glasses of non alcoholic Schloer Shock

ShanghaiDiva · 05/01/2019 07:21

I'm in and started on 2nd January.
I am flying to Australia on 31st January and know I will drink lots of wine when I am there so need to cut out all alcohol until then. Will probably need to have two alcohol free weeks when I come back too.
So far so good, but weekends are the hardest.

Piggywaspushed · 05/01/2019 07:40

Was convinced I would wake up this morning bright eyed and bushy tailed as am trying Dry January to see how much even the small alcohol I drink affects me. But I have a sore stomach, still didn't sleep well, still have an irritable bladder! However, at least I know none of it is alcohol and wasn't sick! And I did get in a solid 5 hours sleep, rather than the two I sometimes have...

I am particualrly keen to cancel alcohol out of the culprits for weekend sleeplessness and panic attacks. At least I'll definitely know I am heading towards menopause if they continue! And will definitely panic less about not sleeping if I haven't been drinking! I could try eating better, too, but one thing at a time!!

DavetheCat2001 · 05/01/2019 08:30

Well done everyone who has managed to stay dry to now! 💪🏻

I found last night suprisingly easy, watched 2 episodes of Luther with a couple of cups of peppermint tea.

Still feeling tired in the mornings, but that is having 2 young kids who wake up FAR too early every day.. it is nice not to have that muzzy-headed fog in the morning though!

So glad that OH is on board with DJ too.. makes it easier pls we had an impromptu 'blow out' jyst before Xmas with some of the school mums and dads at which OH got so hammered he can't remember getting home and was vile to me.. He never gets like that unless he gets on the whisky, and I think it shocked him so much, he's gone right off drinking.. which is a good thing.

I also just cannot cope with hangovers. Not just physically but mentally they ruin me, and make me feel so liw, it's just not worth it.

My aim is to be able to enjoy a couple of glasses of nice wine in a night our/at dinner but no more binging as it just makes me ill and depressed.