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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

sinister or being silly over nothing? DH's FB search history shows him looking up 1 young woman

1 reply

worried430 · 30/12/2018 09:01

dh's facebook search history shows him searching for one specific woman (looks under 24) 5 times from july 2017 to dec 2018 (so once every few months).
They have no mutual friends or connection according to fb and i don't know if she works with him. She is pretty. Looks like me when I was younger and slimmer..so definitely his usual type. Couldn't find any messages on whatsapp or text or messenger to show he is talking to a woman. He may have a second phone, as he brought one a few months back and said it's work's.

I am suspiscious because he has been:

  • disinterested in sex for 3+ years when in the begining his libido was very high. He now watches porn every single day so i know he is masturbating and so not a general loss of libido. Sorry a bit gross but his searches and video history of 100+ about anal sex. I never have nor would I want to do that. He asked me for it several times and I refused. I'm just not interested.
  • taps the 'back' button whenever I enter the room or come close in order to close whatever screen he is on.
  • hides the screen when I'm close by turning his body and shoulder away from me
  • works late or comes home late (by late I mean 2 hours late not long eough for a date plus he comes home looking scruffy and smelly)

Why I think i'm being paranoid:

  • he is very scruffy and unhygienic, he got worse in terms of taking care of himself
  • I know his phone lock and passwords, he keeps his phone laying around and lets me use it.
  • he isn't very tech savvy to delete history and all that although I showed him once how to select which history data to delete (very easy).

He had crushes before and so did i. I think it's normal as been together 15 years. The difference is we laughed about it and were open about it. This time he never mentioned this woman to me.

am i being silly? do i ask him? or just watch the next months and wait?

OP posts:
Middersweekly · 30/12/2018 09:41

It sounds as though he’s using this woman’s FB profile to masterbate over every now and then. If he was having an affair he would likely be making more effort with his appearance, not less. Also by your own admission he’s not very tech savvy so he would be caught out in a heartbeat! He’s also likely embarrassed about all the porn tabs he’s got open on his phone but I would strongly suggest having a word with him as it sounds like it’s getting a bit out of hand!

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