He says it's over. I'm devastated

[makingdoo]

I never thought I'd be in this position and I just don't know what to do.
I've been with DH for 20 years, married for 10. We are both 39. No kids due to infertility. We tried IVF 5 years ago and it failed. I don't think we ever dealt with it.
Our sex life has virtually been non existent since then and truthfully a little sporadic beforehand.

Today DH told me he doesn't see a future. He's depressed because of our relationship. He doesn't find me attractive any more. He's done and there's no way back. Doesn't want counseling.

I knew our relationship wasn't great. I've thrown myself into my work over the last few years and I know I've neglected our relationship and taken him for granted.
But I wasn't ready for this. I'm heartbroken. I don't know what to do.

💐

Even if an OW is involved....it's clear the marriage has been in a bad way for a few years now.

Sex life has been bad since the IVF failures and wasn't great before that. The OP has admitted to throwing herself into work and neglecting him.

It doesn't sound like it's been an enjoyable or fun marriage for either of you for sometime now.

I'm not trying to be hurtful, but based on your description of things...what would he really miss about you if you divorced?

Do you go out? Socialise together? Dinner? Movies? Any affection at all?

He's getting slatted because he's a man.