I know that having children changes you. But I feel that being with my DH has brought about many of the changes I dislike in myself now.
I used to be fun. I used to have such a laugh.
But DH has no self discipline, unhealthy fascinations with things, can not prioritise, can not organise himself.
I have to go over and over and over things and he still takes no notice, he's impulsive, doesn't plan and doesn't communicate.
If life events/requirements fall beyond his usual daily habits, they get utterly neglected.
He is de-motivated, he is slow-moving and always tired, he can not focus without becoming distracted very easily, he talks about the most mundane topics on and on and on.
I can't live like this anymore.
Everyone thinks he's lovely and wonderful. He will help anyone in need, unless that person happens to be me when he's something he would rather be doing instead. If he wants to do something like a hobby at short notice and I can not do all of the childcare myself, he drops on his parents who always fill in for him. He even sent them to purchase some of my xmas presents.
If he is tired, he can't seem to get himself to bed at a reasonable time, if he feels overweight and lethargic he never alters his eating or exercise habits.
Life is a rut.
I am trying constantly to not allow his lifestyle to influence mine, but nobody is an island afterall, it impacts on me, on all of us.
I feel constantly in a state of desperation, infuriation and rage.
The children are easy in comparison. He doesn't see the problem and will just argue the pedantics of everything until he's blue in the face.
I really just need to vent. I miss me.