AIBU to think my family are totally insensitive and selfish?

[aibu12344]

On Christmas Eve a close friend from school told me she was getting divorced. She’s very local to my parents and she was distraught when I met up with her. As a result, I went to see her Christmas Eve night - 11pm when my sibling and parents had gone to bed. They knew I was staying there. I came back 9am Christmas morning before they were even awake. I then went to see her again to stay Christmas night, again after everyone had gone to bed. I came back on Boxing Day morning and stayed for the day.

That’s the background. My sibling is friends with my friend’s sibling. Not massively close but know each other from school. I told my sibling that my friend’s sibling knew nothing of the relationship breakdown and please do not tell them or mention anything to them as my friend didn’t want anyone to know at this stage. I had to tell my family what was going on because I was staying at her house.

I now find out that my sibling was asking my friend’s sibling probing questions about my friend and whether she was ok. I’ve no idea why my sibling did this - my mum told me in a completely breezy way as if I would think that was ok.

I called my sibling to ask why she did that and she said ‘well (your friend) did take over Christmas didn’t she and it’s hard to keep quiet about something like that. If you’ve called to have a go at me I’m just going to hang up. I didn’t say anything explicit and (my friend’s sibling) was drunk anyway.’ Sibling then went on to say my parents had said my friend had ‘taken over’ Christmas and so what if my friend’s sibling knew anyway. Mum agrees with this and can’t see why I am upset/annoyed.

What would you make of this? AIBU to think my mum and sibling are totally insensitive and cruel in behaving like this? Candid views welcome - happy to be put in my place!

Just to add it’s unclear whether my friend’s sibling does actually now know what is going on or not. I feel awful because she trusted me and I feel as if my family have gone behind my back and also minimised what my friend is going through. All seems such an odd thing to do...IMO anyway.

Pretty bad that your Mum has re-framed this as ‘taking over ‘ Christmas. And even if it has, that isn’t a licence for your sibling to go gossiping and interfering.

I would ask your Mum in what way it took over Christmas, as in had any affect in your family time together, to check that there is nothing she hasn’t mentioned to you.

And tell your sibling they have broken your trust.

It might be good to warn your friend, too. Tell her your sibling hasn’t told but has been asking leading questions because they are a twat. That gives her a chance to head her own sibling off at the pass if the sibling comes back to her.

But much more you can do, except chalk it up and know that you can’t rely on your sibling in future.

When you tell someone a secret, you open a Pandora's box!

I asked how it had any effect on family time - nobody could answer other than to say that it created a cloud over the festivities.

Again, I’m not sure how exactly. Think it was mentioned once with them. And in any case, why the hell wouldn’t they be sympathetic to what she is going through?!

Just astonished really and also feel like a fool. I’m more surprised by their cold attitude than the fact sibling said what they did, alrhough I can’t for one moment why they felt the need to do that at a party.

Good on you for being there for your friend. Even if you had been away from your family during the times they expected you to be there celebrating with them they'd be quite immature to get the hump about it.

I think it’s immature too but when you have three people siding together you question yourself!

Just feel like a bloody idiot for not just making something up and keeping them out of it!