Hi everyone, I'm new here, but have been a lurker for months now lol.
Ended up writing here as I feel so lonely, let down, fed up etc.
I live with my partner with our son, my daughter from a previous relationship and his soon from previous.
To be honest, things have never been particularly great between us, we met when we already had kids, so had little chance to go out on dates. Before our son came along, we at least had a little time to ourselves when our kids were at their other parents. No matter how bad the week was, we always spent Sundays shopping, or staying in bed, eating pizza, watching films, having loads of sex, then sometimes later going out for drinks with friends.
Obviously that all changed when our combined child was born. Not only did we not have any time left over for our relationship, but our son was ridiculously high maintenance from very young- crazy active, loud and boisterous. Roll on seven years and I am, I believe quite depressed. I have always been naturally sociable, inquisitive and love to meet people, learn new things and visit new places.
Gradually, my daughters relationship with her Dad failed, so she ended up being my sole responsibility, this meant that we pretty much have no time to ourselves. Family support is lacking hugely, other than partners mother who takes our youngest once a month. Our son DOES NOT stop. From the moment he wakes up, til the moment he goes to sleep, after hours of talking to himself usually, everybody, including the older two have had enough. We are all so miserable.
AS for my partner and I, I have been complaining about lack of quality time to him for years. He seems content sitting in and playing his console or watching a film, and constantly tells me that this is it and we should just make the most of it. This just isn't enough for me. I would gladly settle for a night out once a fortnight.
I spend a lot of my time obviously miserable when I'm not at uni, I try so hard to be my old upbeat self, but I just can't hide my disappointment any longer. This inevitably leads to my partner asking what's wrong, but when I tell him, he interupts, talks over me, and tells me that I'm not feeling that way because of x,y or z, but because of something else. I find this infuriating.
He tells me that he has no desire to take me out when I have such a bad attitude towards everything.
Last month I'd mentioned dying to see a film that came out, he said we'd go for his birthday, which was sweet. Just as we were about to leave, his teenage son who would have stayed in with my daughter, came home and stated he was staying at his friends. So we had to cancel the film.
Last week, when his Mum had our son again, I asked if we could see the film. He said yes. I got so excites, planning what to wear, how amazing the film would be. Then payday came, we went to town to buy the kids xmas presents. And he said we couldn't afford to go. I was so upset and felt so let down. I said that our relationship was flatlining and it should have been made omewhat of a priority when considering budget. He said that I wanted to deprive the kids of xmas presents.
I appreciate this might sound petty, but I've been bothered by this for years now. I'm at the point where I cry myself to sleep, Christmas night I got drunk and asked him where we had gone, in tears. He could'nt look me in the eye, and muttered 'I don't know what you want me to do'
Thae atmosphere has been awful since and he's made me feel really selfish. Am I being unreasonable?
Sorry for the rant, feel so alone.