I'll try and make it brief
H's best friend took against me from the get-go. Before we married he was really vile to me every time we were in the same room (eye rolling, sarcastic comments, put-downs - including derogatory comments about me looks and breasts). He apologised for his behaviour just before we married and excused it as 'feeling you was taking my friend away from me'. Forgiven, lets move on. But things were never right between us and he would slip back into being mean and unpleasant in moments of insecurity.
Here's the problem. The friend and his wife (who was cold with me from the beginning), became friends with my SIL. This slowly turned into one big nightmare where they seem to be sat around winding each other up over every petty thing until they all decided I was the worst person in the world. Basically I have ruined my husband's life, terrible mother and wife...
My MIL has a very close relationship with her daughter and takes her side over everything. SIL/H's friend & wife basically convinced my MIL that I was/am a horrible person. Every little thing was twisted out of context or stuff just made up. I slowly got excluded from family events, being left out of photos, not being invited to things (forgetting to put my name on cards and invitations). I know there are two sides to a story but I essentially bent over backwards to try and win them over - everything got thrown back in my face. I have always stayed polite and civil no matter how upset it made me feel. Last Christmas MIL finally demanded that H left me because we are going to spend Christmas with my parents.
H then realised that there was a plot among 3 people in his life to destroy me or our marriage one way or another and began distancing himself from the toxic people in his life. Not physical distance, but being more boundaried and careful about sharing information etc.
After being accused of something I hadn't done or even thought, I finally decided to go NC with his family for my own mental health. Unfortunately this only made things worse as they are now taking things out on my husband. They are now going for broke. H gets regular calls shouting and yelling at him, accusing me of 'pulling him away' (he sees them every family gathering, his mother once a month, his brother in between). They also accuse me of mistreating him, made up stuff like him having to do too much around the house or with the kids, me not financially contributing. They even blamed me for his hair needing cutting (apparently long hair is a sign of unhappiness). You get the picture. They will not stop.
I basically cannot stand it anymore. Although H knows exactly what is going on, he finds it difficult to stand up to them. If he contradicts them, then he has been brain-washed, if he doesn't say anything it is seen as admission they are right. He can't win. And its getting me down.
We met up with his brother in a hope he would act as a voice of reason. He essentially confirmed that there is something not right about how I had been treated and that those involved are threatened by me, but his advice is I have to basically walk on eggshells and get on with it for the sake of the family.
I just can't cope anymore with the drama. Its like being in pergatory. Help please.