Do I tell his wife

[Loveneedslove]

I'm in a dilemma

I've posted previously about a controlling man I was with. Who told me time and time again he was separated from his wife. She still lives with him but mainly at her parents.

He couldn't meet me normally, always busy. Everything felt like secret. Found his wife's profiles on all social media and she has all profile pictures of them both.

We've since split up and I'm in two minds to tell her the truth. But I do feel I'm doing it more out of anger than anything.

Plus what if he's telling the truth and they are separated. I look an idiot telling her.

Thoughts

At the start I asked him if he was single he said yes. He told me he had a child but single.

It was only down the line things didn't add up and then I seen her on Facebook. And asked him that's when he gave me the story of being separated. But it still didn't add up.

I would want to know if it was me. But I don't know how to approach it or if I should just leave them to it.

Usually, my default opinion is that you should tell the other woman if they are being cheated on (I will be forever grateful to the woman who told me that she realised the man she'd been seeing was actually my boyfriend) but in this instance, I think it's more important for you to cut all communication with this guy and move on with your life.

He sounds horrible and manipulative and like he will get inside your head.

Thank you. I do agree, I feel I have a duty to tell her. But I also feel right now I have a duty to protect myself from him.

So turns out he is very happily married or so his wife thinks

I doubt that anymore, imagine the lies he's told your wife and then times that by 100. Poor woman

Sorry imagine the lies he told you.. then times that by 100 as to what his told his wife. You did the right thing. Now leave them alone

No need to be rude. I'm hurting just as much you know.

@Loveneedslove I'm sorry he's been lying to you and to her. Have you told her directly?

No as I don't know what to say and I'm frightened it will cause more trouble. I'm just hurt at the moment and I don't want to do react.