Advice needed

[Losingsleep]

Hi
I have decided to woman up make a proper post asking for advice.
I have been married to DH for four years and we have a DC. DH is a good man, reliable, looks after his family and is kind. Our marriage is ok, however I am so lonely. I need him to touch me and show me more affection but he is struggling to do so. Being shown affection is such an important thing to me. I have tried to ignore my desire for affection and focus on the good things about him ie he is lovely and I know he would never cheat on me and he loves his family but I've been unable to suppress my emotional needs. I have told him clearly what I like...cuddles, kisses, hand holding, doing things together, showering together (yes I know it sounds silly but I really love that) but he is still unable to do those things with me. We do stuff as a family and take DC out a lot but we don't do anything as a couple.
I feel so sad about it and I have told him. He says I am depressed and I should go for counselling. I am a bit depressed actually because I have had to deal with difficult situations and bereavement in the last year but I'm sure that if he becomes more affectionate it will heal my heart a lot, probably more than therapy.
I have wondered if I should leave but DC is so young and loves him so much. Also how do I explain the divorce, we have some issues but he doesn't hit me and he is not nasty. What if I leave and I end up regretting it? What do I do?

Go read/Google/YouTube John Gottman. Google his credentials.

www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/

Being lonely within a marriage is akin to death by 1000 cuts and you are feeling as you do for good reason.

All your husband seems to care really about is his own self really. It’s not your fault you are feeling as you do and if he is not affectionate towards you then why is this. Has he always been so non affectionate, it reads like he really could not care less about you now as his wife.

What are you getting out of this relationship and why is your relationship bar so very low here. Stating that he does not hit you nor would ever cheat on you are the barest of bare minimum requirements really for a relationship to work anyway.

What do you want to teach your children about relationships and what are they learning here. Is this really what you want to teach them, that a miserable sounding marriage like yours is to be their normal as well.
Leaving whilst the kids are young would be far better than staying till they are teens for instance.

Attila....He was a lot more affectionate when we were dating. I have such a long history of abuse, that is probably why I set my bar too low in relationships

I've been unable to suppress my emotional needs. I have told him clearly what I like...cuddles, kisses, hand holding, doing things together, showering together (yes I know it sounds silly but I really love that) but he is still unable to do those things with me

Did he used to do these things when you first got together?

NotTheFordType...yes he did