How to protect DS, 3, from his dad's depression?

[AWorriedMum]

Hi, any wise words, or kind words, will be much appreciated -

My partner has a diagnosis of depression, he's had it 4 years, he takes ADs which help a bit, but not that much. He's not willing to go to counselling or do anything further about his depression.

It's really affecting me. I'm so unhappy I feel I can't take it any more. I'm only staying in the relationship because of our DS, age 3. I am worried about how my DP would treat DS during contact time if I split up with him. Because of his depression my DP is frequently moody, irritable and unreasonable. If I split up with DP and he then has DS for the day / afternoon, I worry he will be moody & unkind to DS and I won't be there to protect him.

Thanks for reading x

Sorry you are facing this; I'm in the same situation. I can relate to all that you are saying & feeling.

I'm a bit further down the line (his latest episode has lasted nearly 3 years, despite medication, CBT & psychotherapy.). Earlier tonight I had to speak to him about his anger as he was ill-tempered with DC.

It has had a huge impact on our relationship & changed how I feel about him. I cannot gave a future with a disengaged, angry, selfish partner who puts himself first.

I have sought legal advice & am getting myself in a better position to leave him.

If he can't help himself (or chooses not to), then you have to decide if you can live with him (literally).

IME, these types of men don't tend to step up & do their share of parenting after separation, so his impact on DC will be less. Better to split up while DC is young.

Good luck; I hope things get easier.

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