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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Family fall out

2 replies

Drawtheline14 · 28/12/2018 12:20

So it’s no secret that me and my husband separated in April as I have posted a few times.
But now my brother has now gone and separated with his long term partner right before Christmas at a family event. She was in tears!
The thing is I know my brother and he can be unbearable to live with, he is emotionally abusive and was physically abusive to me as a child but not to his partner but did have her in tears almost daily.
He was so jealous when she past her driving test that she was in tears!!
So I know she’ll be much happier without him. He never bothered with the kids, he was either at work, fishing or the football or on the PS4.
Her and I get on really well too so I know our kids will still be close growing up.
He’s the one that ended it, and he’s doing the part of playing the victim so well. He’s got my mum, other brother and his wife fooled and defending him saying well she did this and that (little things like not cleaning after having the kids all day/being a work) they also moaned he had to contribute towards the bills so never had any money. Just ridiculous things.
But they don’t mention anything he did, they never really liked his partner without any good reason apart from the fact his partner moaned about my other brother and his wife a lot because they’d lend my brother money and charged him ridiculous interest rates. All behind her back. Now they are acting really smug, almost celebrating they aren’t together. And I’d enough today. My brother has been moddled coddled and spoilt by my mum and needs to learn to stand on his own two feet. Couples separated, but I think he should be forced to learn how to manage on his own without being bailed out constantly but my family are completely blind sided by him.
Anyway I can’t cope with their smugness and lack of empathy for my nephews (one of which most likely has autism) and my brother’s ex. It’s unbearable. She was in bits over Christmas while they go off and basically shout it from the roof tops. I don’t know how they can be so insensitive. It’s been 4 days and they have discarded her like rubbish in the bin already.
I tried not to get involved but they kept bringing it up, so I finally stuck up for her and now we’ve fallen out.
My mum is making a HUGE mistake letting him back home, she hated living with him. It’s his way or no way and I don’t want to watch it unfold for the worse and I’ll have no part in it.

OP posts:
TomaszIsMineBitch · 28/12/2018 12:28

well done op for sticking up for your SIL
if your DB (D for dickhead rather than dear) had her crying almost daily as you have said then he was most likely emotionally abusive.
golden boy needs to grow up and your family are rediculous! boo hoo he had to pay his own way and contribute to HIS family poor little soul Hmm

Nicelunch25 · 29/12/2018 00:01

Well done! I was the ex you describe and it still hurts me that his family somehow turned a bind eye to me crying every day and or thought I deserved to be treated like that in front of our child. You should be proud of yourself for not taking on the messed up dynamic which perpetuates and defends domestic abuse. Thanks

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