Don't feel like it

[dotnetmum]

My H is annoyed that I don't want to have sex over the holiday period. It's because we spend the Christmas at my mum house and in her bed. And when we got home yesterday he wanted to again but my two grown up children are back home in the rooms next door and I just don't feel like it.
My son is depressed and is staying in his room and I am worried about him even though there is nothing I can do right now, but basically I don't feel like it.
That's understandable isn't it?

Are you talking about it or just turning him down? Is your sex life usually good?

Is sex all men ever think about? They all seem to be sex/penis obsessed.
I'd tell him how I feel in no uncertain terms.

Yes, it bloody is understandable. YANBU, if he’s that desperate he can sort himself out for now, be a bit mire understanding and wait until you actually want to participate. Hope your son is OK

madcatladyforever

Not sure the sexist generalisations are helpful tbh.

I hinted quite clearly that no much is going to happened at my mums, he tried a little anyway but I turned him down. When we got home to find my son here it was a surprise, and I am just totally distracted by that. And my daughter is in the next room. H tried to make some moves this morning and I explained that I don't feel comfortable doing it with daughter and son here.
My H is working on a project away and gets home every couple of weeks and we usually do it then. Usually we have the house to ourselves but I would say he seems to want to do it all the time, for me not. I mean we are in our fifties, kinda like I don't have anything to prove but he seems to think it means he is still young...!! This time he is home for longer for Christmas but with the situation I just don't fancy it and he says I am always rejecting him. Not really, just not all the time!

The other thing is he feels rejected because I am not paying enough attention to him. I have not seen my mum in months and also my kids, whereas I saw home just two weeks ago. He doesn't get on with the rest of them and I am just tired from keeping the peace to be honest.

Okay he should be more understanding but he isn't home that often normally. He is only home once every two weeks but apparently "wants it all the time". Once a fortnight is not a high frequency, even for someone healthy in their 50's yet you make him sound like a sex pest.

I think you both need to have a proper talk about this before it becomes a serious issue. It's fine to turn him down every now and then but if you are having sex you don't want that is a problem

I like how one of the posters chimed in about men thinking only about sex and being penis obsessed. Especially when half the threads on the forum about women complaining they aren’t getting enough sex.

Anyway. No OP you’re not being unreasonable. You’ve got a lot on your mind and things you’re worried about. Perfectly understandable you’re not in the mood. I would suggest chatting to him, perhaps showing other signs of affection. For some guys sex is a way of expressing desire and love. Rejection can be seen in their eyes of not being loved. Perhaps a few hugs and kisses and an explanation might allieviate the situation.

Thanks for the advice, yes your right I guess.

He needs to get you a hotel.. baby sitters... and allow you to relax. Tell him that.