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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is my Mum being a bit over-optimistic?

26 replies

LoudJazzHands · 27/12/2018 23:58

My Mum is in her early 70s and considering divorcing her husband.

To give some background he's about 5 years younger than her, not British but has been living in the UK for around 14 years - about as long as they've been married. He has a property in his home country, part of which is/was a small business which was being run by one of his sons.

The marriage has been pretty shitty the whole way through. He was an alcoholic and has physically abused my Mum (police involved).
He gave up drinking quite a few years ago and the violence stopped but verbal and emotional abuse has continued. She's finally had enough.

He moved into her house which is solely in her name. It's mortgage free. I she may have had a mortgage when he first moved in. If she did, he's never contributed.
He drives the one car they have, bought, insured etc all by her (she often cycles to work so he can have the car...). She pays most things.

He HAS paid for some things in the house and he HAS done some work in the house, but nothing major.
She thinks that in a divorce he's likely to be entitled to very little, if anything at all (apart from his personal effects).
I think she might be in for a surprise. I've told her to seek legal advice which she said she will (she's not very pro-active though) but I'd like to know other people's experiences and opinions.

OP posts:
LoudJazzHands · 28/12/2018 16:13

Thank you to all of you who've commented.
I know she definitely needs to get a good solicitor but your comments have helped me learn how to find one, and also what problems she could be up against and what questions she should be asking.

I'm really feeling quite upset that this petulant, abusive, lazy, lying arse could waltz off with a big chunk of her financial life leaving her to build it up all over again (she had to when my Dad left).

OP posts:
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