Why does everyone hate me :(

[Lonelyworld14]

No matter what I do people just don’t like me and I’m sick of being in tears every god damn day over it. So called friends never reply even if it’s a simple text, but I just get ignored, recently once one friend has done this twice, arranged to meet up, comes to hours before and just ignores me.
I’ve been upset to my so called partner about it and he’s not arsed at all. He’s got his friends and I’m not allowed out with them as they all hate me, they even say ‘do not bring ... out’ but they can take all their girlfriends and whoever 😭
I’m sick of being left out, my partner says it’s all my fault I don’t have friends and I’m selfish and I’m a cunt and a horrible nasty piece of work and I don’t see how p, I don’t talk to anyone, haven’t in over a year as no one wants to talk to me, he claims he’s not telling them anything and they hate me because of how I treat him. I don’t get it nearly 5 years together and he can do what he wants, I bring things up that bother me and he’s not interested and if he’s in the wrong, flips it back upon me so I’m the reason I’m feeling like this or this has happened.
I can’t do it anymore, I’m crying my eyes out all the time and he’s not helping or supporting me. He screams at me my parents don’t give a shit about me and where are they and no one gives a shit about me, he did but doesn’t now. He’s told me to kill myself more times than I’d want to say, I’ve gone as far as I’ve secretly cut where no one can see, I’ve actually attempted to slice my throat. He tells me to jump off something, and he thinks our son will have a better life with him. Honestly I feel like I want to end it all and I’ve got no way out. I’m trapped in this house alone 24/7 and he doesn’t even live here so he has his breaks from our son and goes off with his friends and he’s social, I don’t get that, I have no one to be social with and I have our son 24/7 no one ever has him or anything either, which I don’t mind I mean he’s my baby boy, but I just wish I wasn’t so alone and isolated and I wish someone actually cared about my existence and appreiciated me. I tried everything to make it good over Christmas as a family and I had to hold it together as I didn’t even get s mummy card never mind anything else, every Christmas and birthday is the same, I try and go all out and do what I can and I get nothing in return. I don’t even get photos with him or a family like normal couples.
I just don’t know what to do anymore and where to turn, I’m sick of everything always being my fault and I feel like this because it’s my fault and I don’t have anyone in my life cause it’s my fault

Do your parents really not care for you, or is that what the arsehole tells you? How was your relationship with them before he came on the scene?

And how do you know his friends say not to bring you? - He tells you that, I guess. Another way to undermine your confidence and keep you isolated as he wants you to be.

Read your message back carefully, lovely - its not that people dont like you, its that your BF says that people dont like you. He is almost certainly lying to you, to keep you sad and isolated.

If you live anywhere near Bedford or Milton Keynes, message me and we'll go for coffee.

This is so serious OP. You need to get out and fast, even if it means you get you and your child to a refuge. The level of abuse you are undergoing indicates that something has happened in your childhood. It makes me wonder what's gone on between P and them.

You feel isolated naturally because the smear has been going on for years probably. Has to be a full NC and please OP, just do it. Don't tell anyone.

Has he ever displayed violence or been violent to you?

OP, how are you?

Op are you there? Is everything ok x

You need to think of your child and get some proper mh assistance from gp or suchlike, sometimes things can seem overwhelming. You can do better for yourself, and them.

What everyone is saying, it's not you! It's him, he's cruel and nasty whereas you sound like you'd be a lovely friend to have. If you live anywhere near Reading I would love to meet up for coffee. But wherever you are, please do contact Women's Aid, you are being abused and have had your sense of self destroyed, but it comes across clearly in your post that you are a lovely person who wants to do your best for your child. Get out now and make a new life away from this awful man. Help is there / here to start you on a new path. We care.

Its definitely him, not you. Where are you OP?

OP, please don't let him destroy you in this way. He is a horrible abuser. Please get the help you need for you and your little boy. Speak to someone, whether at Women's Aid, your GP or Health Visitor, or all three. If you ever need to talk to someone, pick up the phone and call the Samaritans. You will be speaking to people just like us (maybe even us) and they are there to listen and offer support, not judge. I wish I could give you a big hug. Know that we are thinking of you and willing you the strength you need to get through this dark time. Really, it will get better.

He is abusive. Freedom Programme, Women’s Aid, any help you can find and get him out of your life. It doesn’t matter if anyone likes you or not, you still have the right to exist and have a decent life. A quote I like goes something like ‘The day you were born was the day the universe decided it couldn’t go on without you’. Yes, you. That’s you, essential to the universe. Now, softly, softly stop believing the horrible man and start planning to be happy. You’ve taken the first step by recognising there is a problem. Be kind to yourself and gently move on.

Big hugs, you sound lovely - 2019 will be your year - get away from him, wishing you strength - dont let someone that vile take away your self worth - I will be your friend xxx

Wow... so unfair!! You and your little boy deserve a happy life together ❤️

I’d be your friend... please let us know how you are doing??