I’m finding that the older I get, the harder it is to get along with my parents. I suppose part of it’s them getting older, too.
They have become two of the most selfish, judgemental people I know and it’s getting me down. They are incredibly nasty about people if those people don’t do things in exactly the way they think they should. It’s everything: peoples’ clothes, holidays, activities, jobs. None of which affect them in any way.
A few examples:
They are very religious and there is a new minister at their place of worship. They hate this person. From what I can tell it’s because this person is “fat and doesn’t look the part”. They don’t like this person’s dress sense. It’s pretty much all they talk about.
Some acquaintances of theirs have a son that lives overseas and they fly out 4/5 times a year to see him and his young family. I knew the son growing up and I think this is nice. It’s not a touristy place and I’m guessing that return flights 4/5 a year plus accommodation is not cheap. My parents think it is “disgraceful and disgusting” that they don’t stay in hotels every single time. This same couple goes on self catering walking holidays and my parents think it’s “appalling and cheap” that they don’t stay in hotels.
We are judged for holidaying in the UK. My parents can’t understand that we can’t afford an annual package holiday and that we like exploring parts of this gorgeous country in which we live and actually enjoy being able to go at our own pace.
Their current obsession is the lack of blind in our kitchen. They are now being nasty to dh about it because clearly, as the man, he must be sorting it. We’ll get round to it, but we’ve only been without one for a month and we both work ft.
None of this, not once single thing of it, is of any consequence to them.
They are also very, very mean with both money and time. Always have been. They are very well off (think a 7-figure inheritance when they were already comfortable) and while I know it’s the thought that counts, they spent a maximum of £10 on the dc at Christmas.
Me they bought a nice scarf which wasn’t cheap but they don’t agree with me patterns (!) so it’s a solid colour, but not one I ever wear. I can’t take it back because one birthday they bought me a jumper that while nice wasn’t to my taste at all (“it’s time you started dressing your age”) so I did take it back (and got lots of things I really like and use all the time) and never heard the end of it.
Df is in his late 80s. Dm is younger but in very poor health (self-inflicted due to years of smoking. She has COPD but won’t stop smoking) so I don’t know how much longer they will be about but I don’t enjoy seeing them, which makes me feel like a completely shit daughter.