Need some opinions, Over sensitive?

[iboopyournose]

Ok, so i have been with my OH for nearly 2 years. Over this time there has been 3 incidents that have made me uncomfortable, latest being today. We have good relationship other than these incidents and i am scared that it may lead to something else or if im over reacting and they are just silly little things that don't mean anything.

So the first one was last summer we were sitting in the garden in the sun and i was going to go in and make the dinner. I asked if he could take the chairs in when he was coming in and id just go straight in and make our dinner. He looked at me like i was being unreasonable and said well how can i manage both chairs and my book etc. I said ok then and took my chair in. He then basically made a massive deal about this for the rest of the night saying it was so out of character for me to be so selfish and he it gave him a bad feeling about us. Ok, i guess, we resolved it and nothing more was said.

Next thing was when i took a picture and posted it on my instagram, you know the types of pics, sun, hat, sunglasses. Just a general posing number as you do. He isnt on instagram but when i showed him another picture on my phone he came across this one and went a bit funny asking why i had that picture and i said ah just an instagram pic. So again another big deal and again the same thing about not being sure about us or me. I think he thought was sending to people but i showed him the insta post and eventually all was ok.

Skip to today, i basically didnt do something he wanted me to and i got a comment about, 'oh is the honeymoon over already' 'that is so not like you' 'you would normally do that your so nice'. I got a bit upset and thought that was that but tonight he went out before i came home and when i called him, he forwarded my call and i got a message saying 'what's up' and feel like hes being quite dry with me over messages.

Am i being over sensitive?

He takes you for a mug /doormat and is punishing you when you behave in a way he disapproves of.
Huge red flag, hopefully now you have started to question his behaviour you can see him for what he is.
Abusive.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Red flags OP, it's may seem small but his comments are belittling and trying to keep you in your place.

I wouldn't stay with him (after putting up with shit like that for too long from my ex H), but only you can make that call.

3 times in 2 years, not a huge frequency. Keep and eye on it and if it gets worse then you know there is a problem. At the moment it could just be the very odd bad mood. Labelling him as an abuser is a bit much tbh.

You're not being over sensitive. I only know because Ive experienced similar behaviour with ex. Its hard accepting you're partner is emotionally abusing you, especially when there was love there. But it starts off very subtle. PP was right saying he is punishing you for doing something he disapproves of. The bit about the honeymoon period being over... a dig at you because you dared to not do something he wanted! Don't contact him if he goes off, start standing up for yrself. You dont have to please him x

I wish I’d had mumset to ask this many years ago with my ex. Definite red flags, this will only get worse, sorry.

Thank you all for your replies. He has now came to my flat half drunk. Can't even look at me. Being all weird and smirky. I think I'm done. I am not going to be a doormat.

Good for you! Feel the indignity, you have a right to be angry and tell what a complete tosser he is. I wasted so much time on ex partner(s) when I was younger. I too wish I had mumsnet back in the day, just reading it now helps me come to terms with past relationships and current one.

Good decision OP. He sounds like a control freak " do as you're told" type of person. You don't need this stress whatsoever.

Stay strong

Out with the old, in with the new! start 2019 as you mean to go on!

Ugh - the chair thing would have been enough for me. Get out. Have you got close friends you can lean on? Sending strength.

Run fast and don't look back. I've seen this dynamic at very close quarters. It will escalate and he'll ruin you. It wil turn into days of silent treatment which you'll learn slowly how to avoid by walking on egg shells around him, apologising for something you didn't do just to keep the peace.

He sounds like an inadequate little prick. You can do a lot better than this.

The smirky thing sounds a bit like supers delight and there is nothing more infuriating.

*dupers

It's weird I am such a independant woman in so many ways but when it comes to him doing this kind of thing I just bow down and don't question it. I do alot for him and I don't mind doing it but I won't take this, I kind of knew what everyone would say but I didn't want to believe it. We had been talking about moving in together but I have been hessitant.

He wants a yes woman, a little lady who won’t challenge and smile sweetly.

Fuck. Him. Off.

Sounds controlling. Only leaked out in small measures as he isnt living with you. Have been there myself. It will only escalate. It will creep in slowly until you are a mess. Yes the honeymoon periid is over as you have seen him in his real light. Excuse the pun.

Listen to your instinct. There is a reason you are hesitant to move in amd that is because it would be a huge crashing mistake

Don’t let him move in, walk away!