A thread for those planning to leave their relationship in early 2019

[christmasfoof]

Was hoping we could have a thread for moral support.

I'm planning to tell DP tomorrow that I'd like him to leave. Together 4.5 years, living together nearly 4 years. I have a DS who is from a previous relationship.

I intend to tell DS this week too, seems rushed but I'm off work now for a couple of weeks and hoping that it will give him a chance to get his head around the idea before going back to school.

Feeling sick about having the chat with DP and whether it will be very acrimonious but I think it's the right thing to do.

Anyone else in a similar position?

Yeah I am too a point . I’ve been tearing myself apart over it for months. Mainly because of my children

Please can I join? I’m lining up ducks with the vague hope H might improve but realising that is unlikely!

About to google rentals to see what might be possible....

Welcome, if that's the right word.

Totally get the point about the children. I'm looking over at DP snuggled up with DS and letting doubt creep in all over again.

Here's part of my "list of reasons" as a reminder to myself of why I'm asking him to leave:-

We never date anymore or appreciate each other
Has made comments about my weight in an unkind manner
Refuses to attend relationship counselling
Stonewalls me for days after a row
Crap with money
Spends half his time on Facebook instead of interacting with us
Work always comes first

I’m with you. Not great timing but Dc has been told we are separating. Broken is an understatement for the poor kid.
Dc will be ok I’m pretty sure, has good parents in us and we will do right for DC.

I’m right at the beginning and god knows where to start. I know Universal Credit is on the list as I can’t cope financially! DH has a high salary and I work hard for poor pay....

How old is your DC @Handbagsnotgladrags? I've had the chat with DP today, I think he thinks that I'm not serious, though he says he's been looking at places to live.

We've just been sat here together watching tv and acting like everything's normal, it's surreal.

Trying not to let myself forget how bad things are normally and not to let a couple of days of niceness allow me to get sucked back into the neverending cycle.

Thank you for this thread. I don’t feel like posting all the details right now but I'll be reading.

And to everyone in this situation

Me, waiting for H to leave, I have had a couple of threads in the last few months but namechange frequently!

Just back from a fantastic Christmas with family, H was shouty before DD had got as far as the loo. She said that thought it was rally sad (to me).

I came home in a bubble of happiness and love after a few days with my extended family and refused to engage. He has been supposed to be leaving on and off for months but has yet to go, living like a single man in our family home (I don’t mean women, just pleasing himself and living here like a lodger).

I will be seeking the swiftest divorce possible so I can get his name off the house (equity was a gift from my family and I am trading that off against his business worth).

I have sorted things out at work and will leave to get home as the same time as DD (at secondary) as I don’t want her feeling lonely and she is my absolute priority.

Never ending cycle is right.

@christmasfoof
DC is 12.

I was in the same situation before it got to breaking point and I did it a week before Xmas!!

The other side really isn’t as bad as you believe it might be. I was hyping it all up for months, tried to do it after Xmas but it’s never the right time really is it?

The biggest blessing I have given myself was breaking free from that relationship. I’ll see you on the contented side 🌸

Thanks @babygoose48, I needed to read that. Have just seen your other threads, well done you. I've posted about DP under different usernames before and have re-read those to remind me why I'm doing this.

Typically, he is now on best behaviour and hoping we can work things out! Such a headfuck.

I'm so glad to hear you've managed to break free and are coping well. How is your daughter managing?

I am so scared of going it alone.. even though the WHOLE WORLD has been telling me to for the past 2.5 years.

Urgh.. it's tough. So tough.

Well, a couple of weeks later than planned but I've told DP that I want him to leave. He is not happy.

I've advertised our master bedroom on a spare rooms website and plan to move into the box room for a few months to help with cash flow. Eeeeek.