I am expecting some backlash here, but please try to refrain a little as I beat myself up enough.
I left a nondescript/emotionally I was indifferent; marriage 9months ago. We did everything together, but we bickered a lot behind closed doors. We have two wonderful young children and are co-parenting very suscesfully. Since the split my eldest behaviour and mine for that matter, is a lot calmer and less shouting.
While I for years thought the bickering was normal I now feel it was maybe having more of an impact on the kids than I thought. the bickering was due to me feeling very misunderstood and unsupported, and to be honest I picked holes in him, I often bite down on my own hand through shear frustration. We had been together since I was a teenager and nearly 18yrs, married for 9. I miss our shared history and am apprehensive about having the adventures we had together alone or with just me and the kids.
Anyway the point of my post i that I have met someone else, he has only recently left a marriage himself.
He had shown an interest before the marriage ended and I didn’t discourage it. Since he moved out of his family home his interest in me and us seems to have faded, when i tell him that he says it’s that he is trying to get over one thing before getting into another, which I encourage and commend for every bodies sake (he has children too). We have discussed a lot about the future and how the children and contact with ex’s is something neither of us have had to negotiate before and I particularly am finding it a difficult thing to handle.
christmas has meant that both of us have spent time with our ex’s but the time he spent seemed to drip out after the occasion rather than saying; “we are doing this together tomorrow” I’ve discussed with him that finding out after is what makes me insecure and I know I’m not owed it but to be considered and told prior to the event would make me less insecure.
I’ma huge over thinker and am thinking well in advance, but regardless of if this is him or the next man what I want to know is:
A) can subsequent/second marriages, with young children on both sides work?
B) Do you ever get over the feeeling of playing second fiddle to the ex?
C) Has anybody every thought, was leaving my marriage worth it? and did you find the comfort, security and ease of being with the first man and father of your children again?
I don’t want any more children and i suppose I’m wondering what connection or unbreakable bond is it that I will ever find with another person.