My nephews

[giesabreak]

I have 2 nephews and one niece. Nephews are 6 and 4, niece is only 18 months.

They are all my brothers kids, but DN1 lives with his mum. He goes to my brother to stay once a week. I feel like I don't see him much. I see the other two more regularly and they FT me, etc. I'd like to take him out during the holidays, just us two and make a fuss of him as I just feel that he doesn't get the same focus as the others just due to the set up now.

Is that unfair on my younger nephew? I babysit him and sister, etc. so I get time with them that I feel I don't give my nephew and I miss him. I don't want him to feel he's less important to me just because he doesn't live with the others.

To be honest the truth is that unless he’s being spectacularly neglected by his mum’s side, he probably doesn’t think that much about you very much. Not trying to be nasty but you’re just an aunt and sacrificing time with his dad (to spend time with you instead) isn’t a good idea.

No, that's exactly it. I would never take him away from his time at dads. I mean as separate time. I know his mum would be more than happy for me to have him extra, not on dads time.

And he's not neglected at all, but mum
doesn't have any brothers or sisters, so all aunties/uncles are on our side.

Go for it. Speak to his Mum & arrange a time that suits her. Then do something fun.

My eldest is 6 and his favourite people in the world are his aunt & uncle who make sure they take him out, just the three of them, for a fun activity. This year it was trampoline park.

He will love it.

As it's arranged through the mum, your other nephew need not get involved or upset.

Make it a new tradition so you have a direct relationship not dependent on your brother.

I think it would be nice. Family relationships are important, esp when parent are separated and it's not automatic to see aunts etc, when they are not the relatives of the rp.

Thank you.

Don't get me wrong, I do see him. Just not as regular as the other two or as easily. And I feel that if I get one on one time with them, I should be able to have the same with him. He gets less of our side in general, despite being first here and I just feel that if I was his mum, it would hurt. And as he's grows up, he'll see the difference. I don't want that for him. It's not his fault how things have worked out.

Sounds like a lovely thing to do, definitely do it especially as his mum sounds like she would be keen.

Sounds good. Lovely idea...go for it.

Thanks all. I'll sort it. Not sure my SIL will be happy, but hopefully I'm wrong and she understands.

You sound lovely OP, very caring indeed. My ex’s family never bothered with my kids at all, I would be over the moon at this suggestion, I hope SIL is too