My other half has just left me

[TwinkleMerrick]

Boxing Day and I'm alone with a 7 month old. My DP has just left me. We have been on the rocks for a while. Ever since I got pregnant actually. I called him out and asked what was stopping him leaving me and he said our baby and what other people would think of him. Not 'I don't want to hurt you'. Anyway I told him we could work all that stuff out. To be honest our relationship was doomed from the start, he was going through a divorce when we met. He has all sorts of issues like addiction and massive debts, I have been trying to help him work through it but I'm always confronted with a attitude. Anyway, he has just left and I'm alone....any tips on how to get through the rest of the season without falling apart? Thanks xx

Well he text me asking to come round and collect the rest of his stuff, I said no. I'll arrange a time when I'm feeling better and when I don't have be around. God knows how I will manage to coparent with him

Slob out, grieve, watch anything you want on TV, and thank your lucky stars you have a gorgeous healthy baby who has a mum who loves them X

Just got a message from him saying 'it's not you, it's me' that has made me so angry. We have a baby together, for the past 3 years I have supported him through a divorce, cared for his other children and been a part of his messed up family, helped him find me a new job when he got laid off.......and that's the explanation I get! Like I'm just a one night stand he can't be bothered to give an explanation too. I'm so hurt!

Angry is a good emotion to feel . Much more productive when angry.

You deserve better remember that

I would reply ‘Yes, I know it’s you. I supported you and your kids through your divorce, helped you get a job etc) and now we have a beautiful baby girl you’ve fucked off. BG & I deserve much more than that, but clearly you’re too stupid to see that, fortunately I’m not. Your stuff will be out the front at x time on x day. Don’t knock, I don’t want to see you’

Ilovechristmaslights that is a great reply! But I already went with 'that's a load of bollox and I hate what you have done to me' reply. Anyway I have a feeling this is all because I know he has a drug problem and won't let him ignore it. This day and age it seems socially acceptable to be high every weekend, but not in my life. He has kept it hidden from
Me for so long as we dont actually live together. But once I unravelled his lies and made him face the truth he suddenly changed towards me. I sorted him free therapy and offered to support him but he has decided it's easier to leave me. Wow Saying that out loud makes me feel so much ch better, I have been protecting him for so long.....not any more. Now I can be truthful about who he really is.

Hey hope everyone is doing okay. I'm really feeling it today. Going for food with his family who have no idea what's going on...dreading it. My feeling of hatred towards him has never been stronger. I know it does take 2 in relationship but he seems to think it's me as much if not more so to blame. I know some of the blame is mine but him saying hrs found true love with a fit 20 year old? Then he's sending me pictures of himself in the gym , naked etc etc saying look how good I am. I appreciate he's under confident( that's what he says!) with his looks but...meanwhile while he's out all the time with friends feeling 'lonely' I'm at home with our children and cant even remember the last time i went out other than Asda lol but that's okay because I have it 'comfortable' here and he'd love to be in my situation. One minute he opens up and the next he's closed. It's like I'm waiting for whatever crumbs he can give me and I'm mad at myself too for this. Can't exactly dissociate completely because of the children. I feel like he won't let me be angry /express my emotions but it's fine for him to do that. If I do I'm being uncaring for not focusing on him. Feeling such a doormat right now.

Veritysoul are you still together? If not can you block his phone number and ask him to contact you through email regarding the children? Sending pics and saying he has found love with someone else is very hurtful, you shouldn't have to tolerate that xx

We're still married but don't live together. Communication has been awful mostly if we've had any at all. I've actually got him on my Facebook so this was on messenger but we have so much shared on there I've just changed some privacy settings on posts, notifications and tagging etc

Ty for reply Twinkle xx

Veritysoul you deserve so much better, I do to! It's hard to see that when they are parading around like they have no responsibilities while we hold down the fort at home. But we won't always feel like this. Today I made a massive long list of good things about being without him! Things like, I can watch what I want on tv, I get to share my bed with my baby whenever I want, I don't have to feed him or smell his gross farts ever again! I will actually have more money to be able to go on nice holidays, I can cut my hair as short as I like!! This has helped me a lot. Maybe u should do the same xoxox

True Twinkle thanks, I do still care for him in ways but I have seen the positives and I've been alone for so long now but now I don't feel like I'm waiting. That's what I've been doing,watching stuff that I want to and mainly getting me and kids out in the fresh air. Thankfully it's been mild enough to do that. I've also rekindled some friendships (Not male lol...in no rush for that!). Am hoping that in time I'll find myself again xx