What does your DP contribute to household chores?

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My DP is a great man, we have a fun, loving and honest relationship. He can however be a little lazy when it comes to taking care of our home. He will wash up now and again or Hoover (when asked) but it’s rare. We both work full time yet I take care of everything. Out of curiosity, how do you split chores with your OH? Or do you do everything? And if so, do you mind?....

And yes, I feel I also do a lot of the unseen / it-would-never-even-occur-to-him-to-do stuff and yet if raise this he just says that stuff isn’t so important - eg vacuum and mop regularly, properly clean bathroom etc.

Does anything if asked but takes none of the mental load. Has lower standards than me but will tidy if things get bad. Cooking wise he can do a good brekkie but gets a bit stuck for food ideas for other meals.

Having said that he demands nothing and has a very physically demanding job with a chronic illness so is knackered a lot.

We both work full time. DP does almost all the cooking. We employ a cleaner, because we can. We take turns to do the food shopping. He is responsible for his car, I am responsible for mine. Mine’s better . I do most of the laundry, but he irons his own shirts. I can’t iron to his standard...

Why on earth do you think you should just "shut up" op? Why?

We both work full time and split household chores about 50/50. We have a good system down where chores are automatically divided by what we both like (or least don't mind) doing. He will clean all dishes (I put dishes away); he cleans the kitchen each night before bed and picks up anything that he has left lying around (and I pick up after myself). He makes the bed every morning and whoever notices that the laundry needs doing will put it in the wash and then put it away (he tends to wash more clothing whereas as I tend to notice when towels and sheets need cleaning). I am more likely to clean the floors, dust and clean glass. We both hate cleaning the shower and bath and so have a cleaner who does that every other week.

I never have to ask him to clean and I couldn't be with someone who didn't pull his weight around the house.

Oh and for cooking we tend to split it, but I like cooking more than he does during the week (he will cook breakfast and then does the bulk of the cooking during the weekend). We do the weekly shop together either online or in the store.

He will just laugh at me if I try and structure some sort of rota though!
Well at least now you know how little he actually respects you - take your cue from that.

What did he do when he lived alone in his own place?
You shouldn't have to do a rota when he has working brain cells and lives in the same house contributing to the mess.

Personally, i'd tell him we need to discuss sharing the chores equally.
If he won't or refuses to stick to it then i'd be showing him the door.
No way would i be pandering to his laziness and accepting the role of skivvy.
It was stupid moving in with him knowing how lazy he is and his disgusting attitude towards 'womens work'.

We both work and have 1 DC.
Generally, I tend to do shopping, cooking and laundry. He tends to do the cleaning and most DIY type jobs.
Not set in stone though and we’ll do what is needed depending on who has time.

My dh does a fair bit (all the cooking and food shopping, for instance), but when justifying how "busy" he's been, has somehow slipped in "going to the gym" as a chore.

“- Quick tidy up and clean toilets before cleaner comes (when I remember I make DH do it as he leaves skids -gross- but I usually forget and do it myself)”
I presume this means you clean the loo after him every day?

Anything which involves cleaning up after another healthy adult’s bodily functions is not about housework, it is about abuse.

At the moment his major contribution is holding velcro baby DS and playing with DD while I do the housework - which I love because a change is as good as a rest. We do share cooking and washing up as convenient, he does DIY and things that require being tall. I do washing because it's easier as I am around to put stuff on/take it out.

Dh does his fair share. Three days a week he is home with the dcs before me so does dishes/cleans kitchen/empties bins/laundry. Whatever needs doing.

We quite often both do housework at the same time so we both just crack on til enough is done.

He does the lions share of the cat litter and the bins. I do the lions share of the cooking.

He only works term time so on school holidays its bloody brilliant as he does 90% of stuff during the time I am at work, alongside sorting the kids and doing stuff with them.

My DH isn't great, we both work full time - I cook and do the majority of the cleaning / washing / ironing etc.

He will do stuff if I ask him to but it pisses me off that I have to ask.

He does wash up / load the dishwasher every night after tea. In the summer months he cuts the grass

I work from home, part time, as DH's PA (no kids) so I tend to do the majority of the housework:
Cooking
General cleaning
Tidying
Laundry
Ironing

DH is responsible for the vacuuming & cleaning (& refilling) the cat's litter trays

He will also put a load of washing on or empty the dishwasher if I have forgotten or am in the middle of something. But I think our split of the chores works for us

DH does most of the cleaning on Saturday mornings when I take the dc swimming. He does 95% of the laundry/ironing/putting away and will pick up bits and pieces from Asda (close to his work) if I ask him.

I do all the food stuff- planning, shopping, most of the cooking, household admin and kids’ stuff.

We both work full-time though due to my commute my hours are longer.

We do about 50/50 but different things if that makes sense. I do more in the mornings as I leave later, he does more evening tasks.

My OH washes up after tea every night and takes the bins out every week. I'm a SAHP so I really don't mind. He would do more of I asked him to. I guess our relationship is quite traditional in that sense.

We have a cleaner but for the rest it's an even split, i.e. DP does all the laundry, I do all food buying and cooking, etc. He's a demon at tidying though, much better than me. I came down this morning expecting a post-Boxing Day bombsite to discover he'd stayed up late getting the place straight so I can have a relaxing day on the sofa.

OP, have you tried talking to your DP about his lack of input?

50/50 my DH is currently putting the washing away while I look after the kids in the playroom. Anything other than 50/50 is going to cause issues.

Both work full time, 2yr old DS. I do the nursery run (closer to my work). He does 50% of childcare but I do all the groups. I do all the supermarket shops and meal planning, cooking is 50/50, he does more washing up than me (maybe 75/25).

He cleans the bathrooms more than me, I do all the rest of the cleaning. I do 75% of the laundry, we don’t really iron. I buy clothes for DS and do most of the organising for him. Bills are on DD but I manage those. We sort out our own pensions/ISAs/other finance. He sorts out his own clothes/haircuts/dentists etc, buys his own family Christmas presents.

It feels a little unbalanced in terms of mental load, but we probably do the same amount of actual work. I just have to remind him/organise him to do it

Were pretty equal all things considered. We do about equal laundry, I do more cooking but he cleans the bathroom more. We do equal dishwasher/hand washing. I tend to do the more thorough deep cleans but that's also often a trade off where I don't mind as long as he entertains the three yo and I get peace and quiet for half an hour haha. He loves to hoover, which is where I entertain the three yo as she's scared of the noise