Is she interested or not?

[Three333]

A coworker and I started chatting a few weeks ago. We communicated a lot, got to know each other and then at the work Christmas party got intimate (no kissing but very intimate). I could sense they were interested in me.

I was leaving the company so I said let's exchange numbers. We did. But I seem to initiate 70% of the convos. But everytime we have a Convo she's engaging with me and giving me a lot of attention.

I did say "when we can we should meet up?" and they agreed.

Last Convo, I iniated on Sunday, and it was a great Convo!! I thought well better them to start the next one, and nothing happens 2 days later?

Could it be she's just that not interested, I don't want to beg her obviously but the initiation should be balanced...

We're both 26 btw

Have you actually asked her out yet?

It's Christmas today so maybe she's just busy? If she hasn't initiated anything in another couple of days though I wouldn't bother. Christmas Eve, Christmas and boxing day are busy for most people. If she is back at work on 27th she might be more likely to have some down time and send you a message at lunch, etc.

I tested the waters by saying we should do something and they agreed. But I haven't confirmed when, which is what I was gonna do in the next Convo

And if she doesn't message by then just move on?

Sounds like that instead of spending loads of time having "Great convos" over your phone, you should have just invited her out for a drink

I didn't ask her straight away as I knew she would be out of city for the entire week, so just kept it going with convos until a suitable date

Assuming she's single would just invite her out but something fairly simple like a drink / coffee etc with date and time.

Some people see Christmas party the same as bachelor parties. Alcohol, jolly, free card for ONS. So what do you mean by intimate and how was your relation before before that?

About exchanges, if she is engaged, she likes you, but you will need to find out if as a friendship or something more. I exchange messages with a guy I like, ex colleague, and it is more less the same. I may write once a week, take 24h to answer, or talk for 2h straight... He would not have a clue uf he was looking at that. I am also a lone parent, so I am busy and tired and don't have the time to chat daily with someone I am not dating yet. Also, don't want to spoil the friendship if not reciprocated, so she may be doing the same, waiting for a sign.

Just text tomorrow and say "fancy that drink, how about (put date here)" if she's interested she'll text back, if not she won't but either way at least you know!

Thanks, good points! She is definitely engaged, will never leave me on unread, the conversations can last hours. When I was at work she would literally message me 9 to 5 on our work Skype, but because of working relationships being against our policy I did not make obvious moves... So my intuition is that she is interested but I don't get why she leaves me to initiate everything?

Even before I left, the last 3 days I would ask her to go lunch with me and everytime she would say yes, but she would never initiate it first?

Confusing girl

Thanks, this is a good idea, I guess I'll just play the waiting game and do this if she doesn't message me

This forum is great, everybody is engaging so quickly 🙂

Please stop saying "convos"

You sound very intense. That's not an attractive characteristic.

(And as above, you are having conversations, not convos.)

What's wrong with "convos"?🤔

How much longer does it take to type 'conversations'?

She may not realise that you like her. I never do unless it's quite blatantly spelled out. Actually ask her out on a date. You sound quite needy and intense already and that's not good at all.

I have similar at present with someone. Whenever I message I get instant replies and questions to keep the conversation going but he doesn’t start them.

I’ve decided to roll with it until the New Year when normal life resumes because I know he’s much more involved with his extended family than I am, but suspect I’m not on kl his mind

(He was starting 80% of the conversations before the holiday period)

Maybe she’s keeping a professional distance if you’ve only just left if it’s shainst company policy to date other employees

She may not wish to lose her job.

Are you a man? Some women like to be persued and for the man to make the first move most of the time. If she’s engaged and happy to talk when you initiate I’d still say that’s a good sign.

Yes I am, and that's a good point.

This could be a reverse of another thread... read the one about a woman being confused by a guy she's in touch with (not even met yet) on online dating, it's almost the same situation but in reverse!

Personally I think straightforward is much less hassle all round - "I really like you, can I take you on a proper date C place Y time?"

Some women won't initiate because they have some false sense that they're a prize that needs to be ruthlessly pursued.
Its not for me but if you dont mind that...
It may be that or lack of interest

I've seen plenty of threads on here from women who won't entertain initiating conversations. Obviously still not many women though so wouldn't assume that's the explanation.