I'm an absolute mess. This Christmas is crap

[Noodledoodlesandspud]

I separated from my husband a couple of months ago. It's a long story that I've shared in a previous post. I've also posted about a male friend that I felt was flirting with me recently. He's been very touchy freely with me. Made remarks about he likes how I look etc. I've always been close to him as a friend and thought now we were both single that he was hinting at something else. He's just posted on Facebook a picture of him with a girl saying happy Christmas eve, love you baby.

I know it's stupid and if anything had happened between us it would have been a stupid rebound thing but I feel crushed.

I don't think it helps that this is my first chrostmas without my husband.

Sorry for the vent. I just needed to he it out.

sorry you're feeling shit this Christmas.

Do you have any nice plans tomorow/this week?

Thank you Sleeve I'm taking my kids to my parents tomorrow so I'll have a lovely distraction.

You're in the raw zone right now. Having been there myself I'd advise giving any dating a wide berth for a while until you're on a more even keel. You'll soon find out there are millions of men out there on the make given half the chance.

Sounds like you were lucky nothing happened with this friend - certainly sounds like he just wanted sex - probably whilst he was seeing this other woman. Give yourself a break for 3 months before seeing anyone.

Sounds lovely, I hope you enjoy it.

Agree the friend guy would not have been good for you right now, focus on yourself and date when you're really ready.

It's annoying when you read things wrong but at least you didn't drop yourself in it. Better things will come along in the new year. Be kind to yourself in the meantime.

Male friend is a break up vulture.

Any decent friend would have given you space.

Be kind to yourself, keep things low key & don’t shag break up vultures x

Keep your dignity. You don't need men like that.

Thank you everyone.

Fuck, Christmas is hard!!

So many people who are going through crap.. We all deserve better.

My first Christmas with the kids being at their Mum’s for the day was rough and still is every other year (we alternate because of distance so I won’t see them today). That was worse than the having split up bit.

But you get used to the changes and I have the bonus of spending the day with my DP today, being able to do things at our own pace, have a drink in the pub at lunchtime etc. There are always positives if you look for them :-)

My ex has come over to see the boys. Which is lovely for them but I'm hiding in the bathroom having a shower crying

Trying to look on the positive side of things... Maybe your male friend is not a break up vulture but was trying to make you feel a bit better about yourself. Maybe didn't mention girlfriend in case it felt like he was rubbing it in when you were down. And if that's the case then I'd look on that as a good thing as long as the touchy-feely wasn't verging on or actually 'out of order' type. So maybe you can take out of it that a friend cares. In which case that's a little spark of bright at an understandably horrid time for you. You'll get through the day by finding and enjoying special moments and remembering to look after yourself too x Don't feel bad about it. FWIW I've made some stonkingly huge errors of assumption myself which I can only laugh about now. That's life and I've learned to take a more measured approach. Hope this isn't too Pollyanna-ish, as in, trying to see the good in everyone! KOKO x